Cataclysm
by WhyMustIWrite
Summary: Iruka returns from a mission unable to communicate or even be recognized by his fellow Konohans! He must get Team 7 to see him for who he really is and deliver his message to the Hokage, not to mention find a way out of his rather unusual circumstances.
1. Chapter 1

Well, it's been just about a year since I joined ff(dot)net! To celebrate, I'm posting this old story from my collection.

Among the earlier of my Iruka-centric fics, I wrote this somewhat absurd story almost three years ago. While I left it intact and true to its original form, I've also polished it to make it more presentable. This short story was written at the same time as a much darker fic; I worked on it whenever I needed a more lighthearted diversion.

I, of course, do not own Naruto and receive no compensation for my stories other than reviews and the warm, positive feelings they generally inspire.

* * *

Finally the village's perimeter defense walls were in sight! Iruka's legs nearly buckled as an overwhelming sense of relief washed over him. Konohagakure had never looked so beautiful, the chunin thought wearily. He only wished he were returning under more normal conditions.

Iruka had left the village gates for a B-ranked reconnaissance mission with two teammates: Rei, a recently promoted chunin, and their squad leader, a kunoichi named Chizu. Neither stood by him now as he returned. Nevertheless, he at least had hope that they had made it back to Konoha safely, as both had left him before the enemy's strike.

Leaving Iruka alone in hostile territory had been a calculated risk. Their three-man reconnaissance had been progressing smoothing, until the night they ran out of rations and needed to forage for food.

During their dinner, the rookie Rei made a regrettable discovery: he was deathly allergic to mushrooms. Their desperately ill teammate needed to be rushed back to Konoha and, rather than abandon their assignment, Chizu instructed Iruka to stay behind and continue surveillance until her return.

The decision had been based on the fact that their presence was still unknown to the enemy and Iruka, with his master henge, had the best chance of keeping it that way.

Unfortunately for Iruka, the enemy's ignorance was feigned. Equally unfortunate was that they chose to drop their ruse when Iruka happened to be alone. In defiance of his streak of foul luck, the chuunin managed to escape capture. But considering the state of his body at the moment, Mistress Misfortune was not finished with him yet.

Mud and debris stubbornly clung to the chunin's form. Painful scratches stretched across his already marred face. His paws now bled heavily with every step, and his tail was still sore from when they'd yanked it.

Paws and tail were not usual features of Umino Iruka's anatomy, but he had found a cat henge to be a suitably effective disguise for gathering data.

And Iruka was trying very hard _not_ to panic ever since an enemy's chakra-scrambling jutsu rendered him incapable of freeing himself from feline form.

The four-footed chunin made a quick stop at a stream to wash up. Padding lightly to the water's edge, he dipped a paw into the stream before involuntary jumping back and hissing at its frigidity. Catching himself, he stopped and blinked, surprised at his reaction. It was only water.

Forcing himself to wade in despite his body's protest, Iruka rinsed off as much of the filth and blood as he could before slinking back to dry ground. His compact form shook, flinging the cold droplets from his fur, and he proceeded to lick his forearm. Catching himself again, he stopped, tongue out. 'I am _not_ a cat,' the chunin affirmed in his mind, 'I will _not_ act like one!"

Now that that was settled, he turned to problem at hand: entering the village. As disappointing as it was to have his cover blown, Iruka's consolation was that he managed to discover the information needed before they attacked. Clearly they had not expected him to make it out alive with that knowledge.

Getting that information into the village would be a challenge. Iruka couldn't speak to the guards at the main gate to gain entrance. He couldn't use any jutsu that required hand signs. Perhaps he could _climb_ the wall…but even if he hadn't drained his chakra reserves running back here, he knew the guards at the towers would spot him. Too many ninja could use summons to allow for an unknown animal to infiltrate the village. Spies, after all, came in many forms.

Iruka sat down to think, absently rubbing a paw along his nose. There were certain access points he knew about since his prankster days that he could use- but only if he could deactivate the traps protecting them. For that he would need opposable thumbs.

He sighed, staring up at the sky. How was he supposed to report to the Hokage if he couldn't even get into the village?

The feline's ears perked up. He could hear someone approaching. Yes…a Konoha squad returning from a mission. Quickly, he ran into their path, thinking of how he might communicate with them. Perhaps one of them understood cat-speech? It was worth a try.

"Hey! You there! Stop." Iruka meowed. "I need help getting into the village."

The jounin squad stared blankly at the slender, tan and brown striped tabby cat and kept walking.

Iruka recognized one of the squad members. "Anko!" He darted up to her ankles, "It's me, Iruka!"

The kunoichi scrunched up her face. "Ugh, get away from me!" Shaking her head, she mumbled, "Nasty, flea-ridden animal."

"It's probably looking for a hand-out," another jounin pointed out. "Just give it a beef strip. That'll keep it busy."

Anko grinned wickedly. "I have a better idea."

A well-aimed kick sent Iruka flying over the trees.

An exhausted Iruka managed to gather the dregs of his drained chakra reserves and cling to a tree branch, but not before being battered by several of the branches above it. 'When I get back to normal,' he winced, 'I'm going to send that psychopath on most miserable C-ranked mission I can find. It's monsoon season in Rain Country, isn't it?..."

Still grumbling about the cat-kicking kunoichi, he gingerly climbed back down the tree and waited for his next opportunity.

After being kicked, yelled at, and forced to dodge dozens of pointy objects and one fire jutsu, Iruka decided this tactic just wasn't working. By trying to make people realize he is not a cat, he only succeeding in convincing them that he was rabid.

He had even tried to write a message in the dirt with a stick, but soon realized he was no longer capable of writing. For some reason he could not remember how to form kanji or put them together in a meaningful way.

Time for a different strategy.

He took shelter beneath dense shrubbery, dreading his next encounter. Iruka's heart leapt when he saw the next returning squad: Team 7- Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and their jounin sensei, Kakashi. His new plan just might work with them.

Cautiously, he approached the four and meowed softly. The jounin kept his face in that orange book, utterly disinterested, but the three genin glanced his way.

"Look! Someone lost their cat," Naruto lamented.

"I doubt it," Sakura reasoned, taking in his scruffy and battered appearance. "It's probably a stray."

Iruka meowed again and approached Naruto, whom he felt reasonably sure would not kick him. Then he began purring and rubbing against the boy's ankles. The blonde genin, Iruka knew, was most likely to respond positively to affection since he received so little of it.

"Don't let it touch you," Sasuke scowled irritably. "It's going to give you fleas."

Naruto's eyes flashed defiantly at Sasuke's demand. "Shut up! Who asked you?"

Kakashi cleared his throat, "That's enough, boys. As fascinating as this…" he wrinkled his nose distastefully, "_cat_ is, I still want to get back to village sometime before sunset. Let's go."

The group walked away, but Iruka caught up again, purring loudly and following close as he dared to Naruto's heels. The blonde stopped and looked at the scruffy stray. "Aw, guys, I think I'll take him home and feed him at least. He looks like he's starving."

Now they were getting somewhere. Iruka meowed and nuzzled the boy's ankle.

See? He likes the idea!" Naruto grinned. "Come on, little guy, I'll get you something to eat." He promptly scooped the tan and brown tabby into his arms.

Intensely relieved to be on his way into the village, Iruka allowed his body to fall limp in the boy's hold. He felt so tired and, now that Naruto was carrying him, his weariness was really catching up. Even so, he felt someone's stare boring into him and lifted his head in time to catch Kakashi's one-eyed gaze.

Did the jounin suspect something? Perhaps now would be a good time to try to show that he was not actually a cat. Iruka was so busy puzzling through his options that he didn't immediately notice Naruto's fingers scratching him gently under his chin. But once he did notice, it became suddenly difficult to recall just what had seemed so important a moment ago. It was hard to think and that scratching felt so relaxing.

The tabby's muscles melted in Naruto's surprisingly gentle hold and a contented purr reverberated in his throat. Whatever it was, he'd worry about it later.

"If you're going to keep that thing," Sakura commented, "You should take him to the vet. He'll need shots and stuff. And you probably ought to get him neutered."

Iruka stiffened. _Neutered?_ No. Damn. Way.

Naruto's face scrunched in incomprehension. "New-derd. What does _that_ mean?"

Kakashi good-naturedly, if not a bit crudely, supplied the answer. While both boys involuntarily paled, Sakura rolled her eyes. "They don't just _chop_ them off! My parents had our puppy neutered- it's a very safe medical procedure…"

"No way!" The blond fiercely declared, tightening his hold on the feline. "Don't worry, kitty, I won't let you become a new-derd!"

Before further discussion could ensue, the team arrived inside the village proper. Kakashi informed his team of the time and place for tomorrow's training, and the four went their separate ways. Iruka would have tried to separate himself from Naruto at this point, but he recognized the warning signs of chakra depletion in his own body. If he didn't take care of himself, he would seriously endanger his health.

The chunin didn't relish the thought of what might happen to him if he fainted in the street. Thus, he allowed the boy to bring him home.

Naruto wasted no time in preparing a package of instant ramen and pouring some in a bowl for Iruka. The chunin was so grateful for food, he didn't even mind eating it on the floor. He also didn't really put up too much of a fight when Naruto bathed him, since he was filthy and refused to lick himself clean.

After the bath, Iruka jumped onto Naruto's battered couch and settled in for some overdue sleep. The genin had other plans. "You've got scratches and cuts all over. Now that they're clean, I'll put some healing salve on them."

Iruka blinked. He'd never imagined that Naruto would be such a thoughtful caretaker. Maybe he ought to buy the boy a pet for his next birthday.

Naruto didn't know to trim the fur around the wounds, but he did take the time to spray them with a mild antiseptic. With surprising tenderness, he smoothed small amounts of cool healing salve onto Iruka's paws, then on the scratches on his face. The boy paused over the feline's nose. "Hey…you've got a scar across your nose, just like Iruka-sensei."

The exhausted feline looked up sharply. "I _am_ Iruka-sensei," he meowed.

The genin of course did not understand. 'Don't worry, it's a good thing to be like sensei. He's a great guy." Naruto paused thoughtfully. "I know! I'll call you Ruki!"

Iruka was touched, but tried again to make the boy understand. He meowed and placed his paw on his own chest. "I _am_ Iruka-sensei." He tapped his scar, then his chest. "_Me_." He repeated the motion again, for good measure.

Naruto stared at him intently for a long moment. Iruka stared back evenly, hoping…

"You don't have a scar on your chest, Ruki," the boy said finally.

Iruka sagged. That didn't work. Still, there _had_ to be a way to…

The boy's nimble fingers rubbed just behind his pointed ear, interrupting his thoughts. Soon Iruka was purring contentedly. Slowing he succumbed to the pull of sleep. Whatever it was he'd been trying to do… surely it could wait until morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka awoke feeling refreshed. He stretched slowly and lazily, allowing his muscles to tense and relax. He'd always had an active imagination, but last night's dream had been particularly vivid.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. Naruto's apartment. Fur. Paws. Tail. Okay, so it wasn't a dream. But, on the bright side, he'd at least significantly recovered from his near-chakra-exhaustion. Now he'd surely be able to make Naruto realize who he is.

The noise of movement and rattling came from the kitchen. He must have been in quite a deep sleep not to notice them earlier. He confidently strode toward that room, his mission firmly in mind.

"Hey, Ruki!" The blond greeted cheerfully from the counter he was perched on, prepared to grab bowls from the high cabinets. "I was about to make some cereal. I'll get some for you too."

Naruto obviously had much to learn about properly feeding a pet, but Iruka was not about to complain. He'd take cereal over cat food any day. That is, until the boy opened the container of milk. Even from the doorway, Iruka could smell its rancid odor. If the kid drank it, he'd get sick.

In a surge of protectiveness and chakra, Iruka leaped the distance from the doorway to the counter and knocked the open container out of Naruto's hand. He'd calculated the swipe so that the carton landed spout down in the sink, where the chunky milk would be swallowed up by the drain.

The blond looked from the milk carton to the cat a couple of times. Iruka beamed. _Now_ Naruto would realize that he was using chakra, and they'd be one step closer to discovering his true identity.

"_Bad_ Ruki!" Naruto scolded. "Just 'cause you don't like cereal doesn't mean you can waste the milk!"

Iruka tilted his head. _What?_

"For that, you don't get breakfast." Naruto continued. "You can't just waste food." The genin turned away pointedly and proceeded to make some instant ramen.

Iruka shook his head, for the first time beginning to doubt his ability to make Naruto understand. Perhaps he should bypass the boy entirely and go straight to the Hokage tower himself. But then he'd _still_ have the problem of getting into the building and making himself understood. He needed help.

Iruka pushed out his chakra, making sure it broadcasted strongly enough for even Naruto to notice. The genin, unfazed, merely finished pouring the hot water into the ramen container. "I hate the three minute wait," The blond mumbled.

Well, he'd just have to be less subtle. Pushing his chakra down to his paws, Iruka jumped and stuck onto the wall. He walked up the wall and then settled onto the ceiling, entirely upside. Finally, finally, the boy noticed.

"Hey, Ruki, you're good!" Naruto complimented. "But if you think doing tricks is going to get you breakfast, think again."

Iruka stared. Apparently the boy _had _noticed his abilities; he just doesn't happen to think anything of a chakra-wielding cat. Then again, in a ninja village it wasn't necessarily a novel discovery.

Still, he couldn't give up. He _had_ to report to the Sandaime on the findings in his mission. And finding a way to reverse this jutsu would also be a good thing. Climbing onto the kitchen table Iruka looked the boy in the eye, demanding his attention. Naruto stared back at him. The two locked eyes for a moment.

The boy sighed, "Okay, you win. You can have some ramen."

A serving of beef flavored ramen was pushed over to him.

Iruka _was_ hungry.

He'd just have to try again after breakfast.

* * *

Naruto dressed and got ready to meet his team. Iruka was determined to go with him. Obviously, the genin was not going to catch on any time soon. His best chance was to turn to another member of Team 7.

Sakura was certainly clever enough to figure it out. But…he may find himself castrated in the process.

No, he wasn't quite desperate enough to risk that yet.

Sasuke clearly disdained him so it'd be difficult to gain his attention, let alone attempt communication with the reticent genin.

Kakashi right now seemed like his best hope.

Iruka jumped up into Naruto's arms as the boy opened the door to leave. Inwardly, he groaned- he was a grown _ninja_ for goodness sake. Swallowing his pride, he gave the boy the most pleading, innocent, sparkling, wide-eyed look he could muster and mewled softly. He had to be as irresistibly adorable as possible. If Naruto left him in the house, he'd find it very difficult and time-consuming to get past the traps on the windows and doors in his current form.

"You wanna come with me, Ruki?" Naruto asked.

Iruka nodded, all the while trying to radiate an aura of _cute._

"But, I'm just going to train. Kakashi-sensei probably wouldn't want you around; he's more of a dog-person, you know."

The feline nudged his head against Naruto's chin and mewled again.

"Oh…all right." Naruto relented. "Maybe we can train you to be a nin-cat or something!"

Iruka smirked and jumped lightly back onto the ground, following the genin to Team 7's meeting place. He felt a twinge of guilt for manipulating Naruto's generous and openhearted nature, but it was not without good cause.

They arrived to find Sasuke and Sakura already waiting. Kakashi was, of course, late.

Sasuke grunted derisively when he noticed the tabby. "Why'd you bring that fleabag here?"

"He doesn't have fleas," Naruto huffed defensively. "And he's a _nincat_. He'll be kicking your ass in no time!"

"A nincat?" Sakura repeated. "Are you sure?"

"Well, he used chakra to climb the wall this morning."

"Do you think he belongs to someone then?" the young girl pondered.

Iruka immediately found himself crushed into Naruto's arms. "No! He's _mine_!"

Sakura's fist contacted with the boy's head. "Idiot, you're going to suffocate him!"

Thankfully, the arms loosened somewhat and Iruka could breathe again.

"Oops, sorry Ruki." Naruto smiled sheepishly.

Sakura curiously looked the cat over, a calculating look in her green eyes. "Hey, Ruki, do you understand me?"

Iruka heart leapt up as he nodded vigorously.

"Do you belong to someone already?" Sakura continued.

Now the feline hesitated, before deciding that "no" was the best answer.

"Ha! So you can by _my_ pet, right?" Naruto demanded.

Again Iruka shook his head, and the boy looked crestfallen. "Whaaa…Why not?"

Suddenly inspired, the chunin reached up and tapped Naruto's hitai-ate. It was the one that he himself owned before bequeathing it to the blond. Then Iruka touched the scar on his face. He repeated the motion, touching first his old hitai-ate, then his scar.

"Um…did a ninja attack you and give you that mark?" Sakura tried.

Iruka shook his head. But at least the girl was thinking. If they kept this up then maybe…

"Yo," a masculine voice greeted. A silver haired jounin strolled over unhurriedly.

"You're _late_!" Both Sakura and Naruto yelled in outrage, promptly forgetting that Iruka had been trying to tell them something.

"Well you see, on the way here I met a jounin who'd lost the toddler he was supposed to be babysitting, so I helped him file the lost property claim with the mission room and…"

"Liar!" the two shouted simultaneously. Iruka rolled his eyes at the outlandish story.

"You're still dragging that cat around," Kakashi noted.

"Yup," Naruto beamed. "I named him 'Ruki' because his scar reminds me of Iruka-sensei and he uses chakra and he likes ramen."

"Yes!" The tabby jumped up. "Don't you see, I'm Iruka!"

Kakashi's eye narrowed somewhat, his expression unreadable.

As Mistress Misfortune would have it, Kiba and Akamaru chose that very moment to walked by.

The dog caught sight of the Iruka and lunged. Feline instincts kicked in with a vengeance. Iruka's back arched, ears flattened, fur stood on end, and he hissed and spat furiously. Akamaru was not to be intimidated, and the tabby avoided the snap of canine jaws by sprinting up into the sheltering arms of a tall oak tree. The dog would have easily followed suit if Kiba hadn't stopped him.

Naruto and Kiba began arguing fiercely, rather resembling their respective pets, when Kakashi broke it up. He sent the young Inuzuka away while stalling the blond's outraged remarks by immediately doling out their training assignments.

Iruka watched from his perch in the oak tree. His heart still pounded wildly. He willed his fur back down to normal and his body to stop trembling.

Why had he reacted that way? He'd behaved like a regular cat, not the shinobi that he knew he was. The jutsu's effects were really beginning to worry him.

Determined to get out of this situation as soon as possible, Iruka scanned the area for Kakashi. He finally spotted the elite jounin in the tree next to his, reading his garish book while the genin trained.

Gauging the distance, the slender tabby jumped over. Kakashi appeared to be entirely unaware of his surroundings, but Iruka knew better than to assume that was true. He sat on a nearby branch, within arm's reach of the silver haired ninja, and stared. The chunin wanted to draw the man into talking to him.

Sure enough, once Kakashi grew tired of the feeling of eyes boring into his skull, he sighed and looked up. "What do you want?"

Iruka shifted uncertainly. This was not a yes or no question, so it was difficult to answer. Instead, he rubbed his paw along the scar on the bridge of his nose, thinking.

Kakashi was still watching him, his visible eye appeared considering. Then it closed in a smile. "Oh, all right." The jounin's hand reached out and expert fingers were scratching behind his ear.

'No,' Iruka thought, remembering his earlier weakness to this tactic. 'I can't give in…' But Kakashi's experience with dogs made him a very good ear scratcher. Iruka found himself melting into the rub. 'Must…resist…'

Now he was purring. 'There's a very important reason for me to resist,' he thought, 'If only I could remember…'

Kakashi continued reading, one hand holding the book, the other petting Naruto's cat, who by now had flopped onto his side in contentment. When he finally pulled his hand away to turn the page, Iruka blinked back to reality.

If he were still human, he'd be blushing. 'How embarrassing.'

Learning from his mistake, the feline skulked away until he was safely out of petting range.

There had to be a way to make Kakashi see the truth…

_See_…of course! His sharingan! Surely it would notice something amiss. Taking only the barest of moments to calculate his trajectory, Iruka pounced, landing unerringly on Kakashi's open book. His front claws latched onto the jounin's hitai-ate and he attempted to pull it away from the covered eye.

With remarkable speed, Kakashi jumped into a defensive position and captured Iruka by the nape of his neck.

It took the feline a moment to process why he was now suspended in the air. Dangling from the gloved hand, Iruka noticed with a twinge of regret the small dribbles of blood dripping down the man's temples from under the hitai-ate. Iruka, not yet accustomed to his feline form, had dug his wickedly sharp claws too deeply into Kakashi's head, creating small gashes as he had tried to pull the forehead protector down.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto screamed from below, "What are you doing to poor little Ruki?!"

"What am _I _doing?" Kakashi retorted ironically, beads of blood dripping down his face like crimson sweat. "In case you haven't noticed, your cat attacked me_._"

"You must have done _something_," the boy stubbornly yelled. "He wouldn't attack without a good reason!"

"Yes, I'm sure that your 14 hours with the creature has made you a thorough expert on his behavior," Kakashi noted dryly as he dropped to the ground.

"Well, he's never attacked _me_," Naruto fumed, "so give him back!"

"Not yet," Kakashi responded evenly. "Something's not right about this cat and I want to know what."

Iruka's heart jumped. Yes!

Kakashi moved his hitai-ate up and inspected him with the sharingan eye.

Yes!

"There's something wrong with its chakra." Kakashi mumbled, mostly to himself, "Almost like it's using a jutsu…or carrying someone else's jutsu."

Yes!

"This isn't right... An enemy could have planted this thing by our village. I'm turning it over to Torture & Interrogation."

No!

Iruka squirmed, trying desperately to escape, but the jounin's grip was steel. A trip to Ibiki's would not go well for him. Torture experts often perfected their technique on animals first. Mewling pitifully, the tabby put on his most devastatingly cute face.

"But he can't talk!" Sakura protested, wobbling under the effects of feline adorableness much like some would quiver under killing intent. "What good would interrogation do?"

Iruka could have kissed her for that inspired logic. Instead he kept up his wide-eyed, melancholy stare, quietly pleading with Kakashi to have mercy. A heart of ice would melt at the pitiful kitten face.

"Maybe we should take him to a vet instead?" Sasuke suggested, almost begrudgingly. "If there's something wrong with him, they should be able to figure it out."

Yes, he even had Sasuke on his side! Now to seal the deal. Still dangling by the nape of his neck from Kakashi's hand, the feline purred loudly and nuzzled his forehead on what part of the jounin's arm he could reach.

"He's trying to make us drop our guard with that innocent act," Kakashi warned his team. "Don't fall for it."

'Cold-hearted cat-hater.' Iruka frowned. 'Time for plan B.'

Seamlessly transitioning from adorable kitten to feral beast, he lashed out and lanced his razor claws deep into Kakashi's wrist. The grip loosened just enough for Iruka to violently twist his body out and run.

Behind him, Kakashi used the newly spilt blood to summon Pakkun.

The chase was on.

* * *

I'll admit this story is sillier than what I normally write, bordering on absurd even. But that was intentional, as this tale was my reprieve while I worked on a significantly darker fic.

And of course, I'd like to stop and thank those who reviewed the last chapter: **KakashiKrazed, TheWatcherandReader, Wordsplat, Reidluver, Tara La'Quinn, Auphora66, Petague Killaboo, **and** Pheonix Eternia.** Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Fueled by feline fear of dogs and shinobi skill and instinct, Iruka had evaded Pakkun for the last fifteen minutes. However, he was severely limited on techniques. Anything requiring either hand signs or opposable thumbs was out of the question.

The feline skirted through alleys, under food stands, into irrigation ditches, fleeing as though his life depended on it. Which perhaps it did.

He felt a bit guilty at causing a startled vendor to overturn his vegetable cart, but the mayhem it caused made for a wonderful distraction. Cutting through the butcher shop had been a tactical success, as Pakkun was momentarily overwhelmed by the heady fragrance of fresh meat, giving him a bit of a lead. On the other hand, freeing the cats at the pet shop had been a complete waste of time. Pakkun's keen senses were not to be confused by such a cheap trick. At least the move would bring some revenue to the village, since genin would surely be hired to recapture the escaped pets.

Still, it had cost him, as evidenced by the fact that Pakkun now had him cornered in an alley.

"Wait! Wait! Pakkun, just listen to me!" Iruka managed to protest, knowing that he ought to be able to reason with the summon. While he wanted to behave calmly and rationally, the tabby could not force his body to stop trembling or will his fur to stay down.

The pug growled and stepped closer. Iruka hissed involuntarily at the intimidating gesture, adrenaline coursing his system, urging him to fight or flee. The innate animal instinct overwhelmed him and Iruka madly dashed up the side of the building. Just before he reached the rooftop ledge, Kakashi pounced with a strong cloth sack in hand, ready to apprehend him.

Iruka sprang to the wall on the opposite side of the narrow alley, hoping to evade, but the jounin easily switched direction and threw the bag over the feline, quickly sealing the mouth of the sack as the creature struggled wildly in its confines.

Kakashi smirked, until he heard the sounds coming from inside the bag.

"Hey! Kakashi! What's the big idea? Get me _out_ of here!"

"Pakkun?" The jounin frowned and felt the sack. With a sigh, he unsealed the top and an irate pug stuck his head out.

"What the heck just happened?" The nindog growled.

"Substitution jutsu," Kakashi stated evenly. "Without handsigns, obviously."

"Can he _do _that?" Pakkun declared incredulously.

"Well, apparently he can. Stop wasting time and get back on his trail!"

Iruka put as much distance as possible between himself and his pursuers. He was immensely relieved that he had managed to control his chakra enough to perform that jutsu without hands. It had been far more difficult than was normal, and he felt nauseous after the exertion. He wouldn't be able to last much longer like this.

Finally, an idea came to him on how to end this pursuit without being maimed in the process. Iruka switched directions again. He made the trail as confusing as possible, only buying time, not foolish enough to imagine that Kakashi would actually lose him.

In minutes, he arrived at his own apartment. The tiny bathroom window's design allowed for access by pushing against it, rather than sliding up and down. With any luck, the traps would still deactivate in response to his chakra signature, despite his altered form.

He pushed against the window with his paws and chakra. Luck uncharacteristically graced him with her charm, and the window smoothly clicked open to allow him entrance. Once he'd passed through, the traps automatically reactivated. Kakashi would have to disable them before he could enter.

The tabby was panting heavily by now and would have liked to rest, but there was simply no time to waste. Not with the Copy Ninja on his trail. Iruka sprang to his living room shelf and grabbed a photo of himself and Naruto, relocating it to his kitchen table. Then he gently nipped an old, damaged photo of himself and his parents from the drawer in his nightstand and moved that to the table as well. He located the ceramic mug his kids had gotten him on graduation day- the one that said "#1 Sensei"- and took that too.

One by one he gathered mementos until at last he collapsed in the middle of the circle, surrounded by hand crafted birthday cards, crayon portraits, his grade book, and several of his blunted training weapons. The picture of himself and Naruto he kept directly at his feet.

The only thing left to do was wait.

Kakashi had arrived at his apartment sometime during his rearranging, and was even now dismantling the traps. Iruka felt disappointed when it took only seven minutes for the jounin to successfully bypass his home security system. He'd have to look into that later. For now he meowed loudly, announcing his location, and then held the photo in his mouth.

Kakashi and Pakkun approached warily and took in the scene.

An orange blur burst through the window moments afterwards. Naruto breathlessly scrambled onto the scene, nearly colliding with his sensei. Though the jounin had dismissed his team, the boy refused to leave since the matter involved _his_ Ruki. That Naruto managed to successfully follow his jounin sensei through the complicated chase throughout Konoha was a testament to the boy's uncanny determination. He just didn't have the sense to know when certain things were impossible.

Iruka set the picture down at his feet and meowed again, nudging it with his paw and pointing to his image.

The two humans and one dog stared at the framed photo of Iruka and Naruto sitting on the stools at Ichiraku Ramen, grinning widely at the camera.

"So you're Iruka's cat." Pakkun harrumphed, unable see how the supposedly sensible sensei would consort with such a creature. "I thought it smelled familiar."

Kakashi tilted his head in consideration. "That would explain how he got passed the apartment's security. His chakra must be keyed to the traps."

Naruto gasped, tugging the jounin's sleeve in alarm. "B…but…Iruka-sensei is away on a mission! And we found the cat outside the village, all beat up! And Ruki kept trying to tell me something, but I thought he was just hungry or wanted to be petted."

Kakashi's eye narrowed at the implication. "Is Iruka in trouble?" he demanded of the cat.

"I _am_ Iruka," the chunin stated, glancing hopefully at Pakkun.

The dog tilted his head, puzzled.

"What did he say?" Kakashi prompted.

"I'm not sure," Pakkun sniffed. "Why is it you always expect _me_ to translate for you?"

Kakashi rolled his eye. "Never mind." Turning back to the chunin, he repeated. "Is Iruka in trouble, yes or no?"

The sensei considered the question. He _was_ in trouble, but not in the way they were thinking. Still, he could only answer yes or no, so he nodded in confirmation.

"Can you take us to him?" Naruto asked tersely.

Iruka placed a paw on his chest and meowed emphatically. A paw on his picture, a paw on his chest, another meow.

"Yes, we _get _it already! You're his cat. Now take us to him!" Naruto burst out impatiently.

Kakashi stilled the genin with a raised hand. "This isn't what it seems," he stated. "It's almost like he's…" the jounin broke off and shook his head, "Look, Naruto, it's pointless to sit around and speculate when we can't communicate effectively. Let's bring him to the Sandaime."

Finally! The chuunin walked closer to the other shinobi indicating his willingness to go, but hesitated at the table's edge, feeling some anxiety about dropping down to where Pakkun stood.

That's ridiculous of course- he wasn't afraid of dogs! He worked up the nerve to jump.

He was just going to drop down onto the floor, right next to the dog. Not a problem.

Yup, he was going to jump. Really. Any minute now…

To his chagrin, Kakashi gently scooped him up as he would a puppy, before finally relinquishing the feline to Naruto when the boy insisted that _he _should be holding Iruka's cat since "Ruki likes _me_ better!" Some battles just weren't worth fighting.

"Don't worry, Ruki," the boy comforted, nuzzling his face into his fur. "I won't let Pakkun hurt you."

"I'm not afraid of Pakkun," Iruka grumbled, though no one would understand him anyway.

They set off and the feline heard Naruto whisper, "I hope Iruka-sensei's okay."

Nudging the boy's chin, Iruka tried to assure him that he was indeed all right.

* * *

The Sandaime listened patiently to the odd tale. At the end he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk where the tan and brown feline stood. "I'm afraid that Iruka-sensei may be in serious danger. He left as part of a three-man surveillance squad nearly two weeks ago. One of the team members became ill, and Iruka stayed behind while their squad leader brought that teammate back to Konoha."

"They left him alone? In enemy territory?" Kakashi frowned disapprovingly, though it was hidden behind the mask. The reproof, however, was still clear in his tone.

"Based on the situation at the time, it was actually a sensible decision," the Hokage's tone in turn made it clear that he was not about to lay the blame on the team's leader. "Iruka has a talent for stealth and undercover work, or he wouldn't have been on that mission,"

The elder sighed before continuing. "Unfortunately, when Chizu returned with a replacement, she found no one at all. The camps were empty, the targets were gone…and so was Iruka-sensei. It's _possible_ that Iruka followed the targets when they relocated, but if that were the case he would have left behind some kind of sign for his teammates. We fear he is probably in captivity…But don't worry," the Sandaime added hastily, seeing how close Naruto looked to throwing a fit, "I've already dispatched a full ANBU squad to locate the targets. They're on the trail even as we speak. We'll recover Iruka soon."

The chunin meowed in protest and shook his head.

Sarutobi furrowed his brow at the negation and turned to an aide. "I need you to call in someone who can understand the creature. Immediately." As the message was dispatched, the elder turned his gaze back to the feline on his desk and smiled. "I never knew Iruka had a cat." Reaching over, he scratched under the creature's chin. Iruka immediately flopped to his side and purred, unable to help himself.

In minutes, a blond-haired kunoichi entered the room: Sakibou, a cat summoner. She bowed before the leader of the village.

The Hokage ceased stroking the feline and Iruka blinked in confusion trying to reorient himself. A tendril of panic wrapped around his chest as he couldn't help but notice that he continued to act less like himself as time passed.

The Hokage nudged him, prompting him to speak. "Lady Sakibou can understand cats; you may speak freely to her, Ruki."

Well, at least the solution was finally in sight! Iruka met her eyes as he said, "I'm not actually a cat. I'm Iruka."

She frowned at him. "_What_?"

"Really, I am!" the feline insisted. "Umino Iruka- chunin, Academy teacher, ninja registration number 011850. I used a specialized form of the transformation jutsu, the Master Henge, to disguise myself as a cat for the mission, but somehow I'm _trapped_ in this form and…"

"I can't understand him at all, Lord Hokage," the kunoichi interrupted.

"What do you mean?" The Sandaime queried, brows furrowed.

"The sounds he's making… They're cat-like, but they're not coherent. It just seems like babble to me."

"Wait," Sakibou withdrew a summoning scroll and bit into her thumb. "Perhaps Miya will understand him."

In a puff of smoke, a white, long-haired cat summon appeared. She glanced around the room regally before settling her golden eyes on Iruka. The chunin tried once again to explain the story while the white cat stared at him indifferently.

"So what did he say?" Sakibou asked when he was done.

Miya sighed and stretched lazily, "How should I know? I can't understand his babble."

"Perhaps he's a foreign cat and uses a different dialect?" the kunoichi suggested.

The cat summon looked offended. "_I_ know _all_ the feline languages and dialects. The problem is he obviously _doesn't_. He's using feline sounds in a manner that isn't feline at all. _And_ he's not making proper use of body language, tail position, tone inflection, or even scent. Frankly, he doesn't have a blessed clue about how to properly speaking cat." Her impatience with his gross ignorance was quite clear.

"Then what kind of language pattern do you think he's using?" Kakashi inquired thoughtfully.

"Oh, _that's_ easy," Miya boasted. "He's clearly mimicking the rudimentary language structure of you humans."

Iruka's ears perked, meowing in confirmation.

"Human!" Sakibou exclaimed. "Then does that mean…?"

"Ruki is actually Iruka himself," Kakashi finished with certainty.

Iruka wanted to run a victory lap around the room, but contented himself with an approving nod.

The stunned Hokage immediately sent an order for Iruka's squad leader, Chizu, to see if they could make sense of the situation. The moment she entered and spotted the small creature on the Hokage's desk, the kunoichi recognized him. "Iruka! Thank goodness you're back!" She exclaimed in obvious relief. Then she faltered. "But… why are you still in disguise?"

"You believe this is really Iruka?" Sandaime prompted.

"Well, he is, isn't he?" Chizu asked, confused by the questioning. "That's _exactly_ the form he used to infiltrate the enemy encampment."

Naruto abruptly pitched forward and hugged the tan and brown tabby with such force Iruka feared his ribs would cave in. "Iruka-sensei! I'm so glad you're okay!" The chunin squirmed uncomfortably in Naruto's grasp until he was hastily let go. The blond jumped back, aghast. "AH! I _bathed_ you!"

At least cats can't blush. Still, he couldn't help but shrink down a bit, a paw covering his eyes in mortification while his ears flattened against his head. Why… _why_ did the boy have to point that out in front of Lord Hokage, Sharingan Kakashi, and every other ninja in the room?

The Sandaime chortled at the declaration, but thankfully moved on to a more pressing subject. "Iruka, do you know _how_ you came to be stuck in this form? Was it a jutsu?"

The feline slid his paw off his face and nodded.

"A jutsu you performed, or one the enemy used against you?"

This was not a yes or no question, but Iruka unsheathed his claws and hissed to get the point across.

"The enemy?" The Hokage frowned and turned to the silver haired shinobi. "Kakashi, do you know of any jutsu capable of locking someone in henged form?"

Kakashi thought it over carefully for nearly a full minute. At last he shook his head. "I've not come across anything like that," the Copy Nin admitted regretfully, as though it was somehow his fault that his vast mental encyclopedia of jutsu could not supply the answer.

The Hokage took this in stride. "Well then, I'll just have to get some researchers on the problem. And once the ANBU apprehend the subjects, Ibiki can work on getting answers straight from the source. Until we uncover more information, there's nothing to do but wait."

Iruka tensed. He didn't like the idea of waiting. Not when he was having increasing trouble with compulsively cat-like behavior.

"Is there something else we need to know, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked, noticing the feline's unease.

Iruka's shoulder twitched, a motion Kakashi interpreted as an attempt to shrug.

The jounin withdrew a pen from his vest, offering it the chunin with a crescent-eyed smile. "Could you try to write out message? You can hold the pen in your mouth, or adhere it to your paw with chakra."

The tabby looked at the proffered writing instrument apprehensively, remembering his failed attempt to write messages in the dirt with a stick at the village gates. Finally, he used his chakra to hold the pen, as Kakashi suggested. Sarutobi pushed a large sheet of parchment toward him.

Iruka stared at the blank space, trying to think of how to translate the thoughts in his mind to something that could be represented on paper. He began with a vertical line, hoping that once he got started it would just come back to him. Sarutobi leaned forward, watching intently, which only made him feel more pressured.

Iruka quickly glanced at another document on the Hokage's desk, thinking to jog his memory by seeing someone else's writing. Sadly, the kanji on the parchment seemed to him as incomprehensible as a toddler's random scribbling, worse even than Kakashi's mission reports. The ink strokes meant absolutely nothing to him.

Finally, he set the pen down and shook his head. It was no use. He'd been robbed of human language without being granted feline ones either.

It was as though some malignant figure hovered beyond his perceptions, orchestrating these events and scripting his circumstances to make them as aggravating for him as possible. He wouldn't be surprised if this mystery figure took pleasure in his misery, or was even exploiting it for the amusement of some unknown audience.

"Unable to write?" Kakashi noted, interrupting his moment of gloomy philosophizing, "Then you probably can't read either, can you?" When Iruka confirmed this, the jounin nodded, more certain of his suspicion. "You've acquired some feline characteristics and behavior, like your response to Akamaru and Pakkun or you're affinity for being stroked by your ears and neck. You're concerned that your condition will deteriorate over time?"

Iruka hung his head, acknowledging the jounin's accurate conjecture with the briefest of nods.

"It won't take long for the ANBU to return," the Sandaime said soothingly, patting the dejected cat lightly on the back. "Try not to worry so much. We will find the answer." The Hokage turned to the copy ninja. "Until then, Kakashi, I'm leaving Iruka in your care."

"What!" Naruto looked stricken. "Why can't _I_ take care of Iruka-sensei?"

The Hokage shook his head, "Kakashi will be able to tell if any further changes develop in Iruka's chakra by using the Sharingan. And he's more attuned to body language and nonverbal communication than you are, Naruto. It will be easier on Iruka this way."

Naruto pouted but- as much as he wanted his cat…er, his _sensei_, to stay with him- he couldn't argue with the fact that the Sharingan would be useful in keeping tabs on Iruka's condition.

The feline shinobi balanced on his hind legs, placing his front paws on Naruto's chest and nudging the boy's chin sympathetically. He knew Naruto was going to worry over him, but Sarutobi had a valid point…the boy could certainly stand to be more perceptive. It would be a nightmare, trying to get the blond to understand what he could not say.

Still, at least Iruka _knew _Naruto and felt comfortable around the boy. The cat glanced up warily at the mysterious jounin. What would it be like, living with someone like Kakashi?

* * *

**Note to Reviewers:** It is entirely your fault that this originally 4½ page chapter became eight pages during the "editing" process. Honestly… saying things that tickle my muse, sharpen my focus, and cause me to stay up half the night reworking what I've already written…what audacity! What impudence! *grin* What a gift.

Many thanks to **KakashiKrazed, SwissArmyKnife, Key Shinigami, Ryu Earth, terracannon876, cdkobasiuk, Wordsplat, Petague Killaboo, Pheonix Eternia, Julieanna333, xXxJaycee81196xXx, chibi heishi,** **Auphora66, umino-gaara, TheWatcherandReader, **and **Ally Plz **for reviewing since the last update, as well as to those who reviewed earlier.

And finally, if I didn't reply to your review, it's only because I did not have the time this morning...I need to leave for work asap. I will respond eventually!


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi glanced over at the shinobi-turned-feline now occupying space on his couch. The cat lay on his side, stretched out as long as his diminutive form would allow, his eyes closed and his breathing even. It wasn't all that late, but considering that Kakashi had spent a good chunk of his day conducting a high speed chase against the sensei all through the village, he could see how Iruka may be tired.

Still, the jounin was about to make dinner, and he would at least check if the sensei wanted some as well. "Hey, Iruka, are you still awake?"

One dark brown eye blearily peeked open and a tan ear twitched in annoyance.

Kakashi was not fluent in feline-Iruka body language, but he roughly translated the answer to be _"Yes. Thanks to you I am, unfortunately, still awake." _

"You hungry?"

His furry head immediately lifted from its former reclined position, ears perked, both eyes wide open. That more or less amounted to a _"Hell yes!" _were the sensei prone to such colloquialisms.

Nodding in understanding, the jounin rooted around in the refrigerator before finally pulling out a large sealed container and reheating its contents on the stove. Iruka padded lightly from the sofa into the kitchen, hovering around the jounin's ankles while the man cooked. The smell of grilled meat teased Iruka's nose, reminding him that he'd barely eaten in the days since his mission had gone wrong. He raised himself to a more upright position, front paws resting on a cabinet door as he sniffed the air.

"It won't take long," Kakashi commented, smirking at his impatience. "Just wait at the table, would you?"

Remembering his manners, the feline ducked his head in embarrassment and made his way to a chair at the kitchen table, where he sat in a duly dignified manner. However, he was so delighted when Kakashi set down a generously-laden dish of yakiniku, bite-sized portions of grilled beef and vegetables, that he jumped up to the tabletop where he'd have better access to the dish.

The jounin didn't seem bothered by the move. He took his own seat, but then looked up as though something just came to mind. "You may want to avoid the vegetables," Kakashi advised. "If a cat's digestive system is anything like a dog's, it'll just give you gas. Perhaps even make you vomit."

Tilting his head, Iruka considered the advice. All he'd eaten since becoming a cat was Naruto's ramen- mostly the broth, since the long slippery noodles were difficult to get a handle on and he couldn't slurp in this form. He didn't know what would happen if he tried vegetables. The thought of inadvertently vomiting on something of Kakashi's was enough to make him wary.

"If you don't want yakiniku," Kakashi grinned, noticing his hesitation, "You could always have some dog food, just to be safe."

Iruka rolled his eyes, but quickly nipped up a piece of meat, just in case the jounin had been serious about the switch. He carefully picked at his food, sorting through the meat and vegetables. Since the feline had to keep his face toward the plate in the process, Kakashi had no trouble eating his own meal without being seen unmasked.

Thirsty, Iruka stepped toward his glass. The rim was narrow, and he couldn't get his tongue close enough to lap at its contents. He was about to tilt the glass to move the water closer to the edge but Kakashi, noticing the inconvenience, quickly removed the offending vessel.

"My mistake, sensei." The man retrieved a small, shallow bowl from the cupboard and transferred the water into that. He was, it turned out, a conscientious host. So, when Kakashi set the water bowl on the table and Iruka caught a glimpse of the angry red scratches on the man's wrist, the feline couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt.

He placed a paw over the marks in wordless apology.

The jounin raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Eh, don't worry about it. I've been through a lot worse than catfights, trust me."

Catfight? The feline crinkled his nose. Was that an absolution or an insult? Iruka just wasn't sure.

The food was excellent, and once the chunin lapped up the last bit of sauce from his plate, he meowed his thanks to Kakashi and jumped down from the table, content and sleepy.

"Now would be a good time for a bath, ne?"

The feline looked up sharply, all appreciative thoughts vanishing away. _"You wouldn't dare," _his eyes said.

Kakashi chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, "But sensei, you really do need one. You've got mud on your fur, from crawling through the ditches. And dried egg yolk from that food stand you knocked over. Flour from the bakery you cut through…" His eyes roved over the feline's fur, identifying the dried-on and clinging substances, "Bits of cat litter from the pet shop episode. My blood…"

He took a step toward the tabby, who immediately took a step backwards.

"There's nothing to worry about. It'll be quick."

The jounin took a step forward; the chunin took a step back.

"You let _Naruto_ do it."

Another step forward. Another step back.

"Iruka, you're making this harder than it has to be," Kakashi warned, narrowing his eye and taking yet another step forward.

Iruka retreated- right into the arms of a waiting clone. He hissed, spitting mad, as the double gripped his front and back paws together to avoid being lacerated.

"You're really going to scratch me so soon after apologizing?" the clone asked reprovingly.

Iruka was clearly considering it. Finally, he ceased actively struggling- though he was by no means relaxed or compliant.

The real Kakashi, in the meantime, had gone to prepare the bath. His pants were rolled up to his knees and he crouched in the tub filled to about four inches with water, an additional basin of warm water and a bottle of unscented shampoo at his side. The clone sat on the side of the tub and placed the feline inside, hands still holding onto the legs, lest he decide to bolt.

"All right, sensei, this won't take long at all," Kakashi began, in a soothing tone as he began rinsing the captive's fur. "I won't pull any surprises. First I've just got to get you thoroughly wet."

Iruka's tension increased every time more water was poured over him, however gently it was done. His eyes shut tightly. The smell of fear was just barely palpable, and the jounin realized with some regret that it wasn't only embarrassment that made Iruka so resistant.

But he had to finish what he'd started. The jounin quickly proceeded to the shampoo, lathering it into fur, especially where the aforementioned mud, egg, and blood were concentrated. "You're doing great," he commented lightly hoping to relieve some of the tension with humor. "In fact, when we're done here you can have a treat for good behavior."

Iruka glared hatefully at him while letting out a low pitched growl. Kakashi translated that to words he'd bet the sensei never said in front of his student.

"All right, all right," the jounin sighed, rinsing the shampoo off. With drenched fur clinging to the feline form, Iruka seemed even smaller. "Next time you need a bath, I'll make sure Naruto comes over."

The last of the suds were rinsed away, and the clone finally released his hold and dispelled. Iruka shook himself vigorously, flinging water droplets everywhere- a disproportionate amount seeming to land spitefully on the jounin's clothes. Kakashi held out a couple of white fluffy towels as a peace offering. "Do you want me to dry you off, or would you prefer taking care of that yourself?"

Iruka nipped the towels in his jaws and pointedly left the bathroom.

Figuring the sensei was embarrassed quite enough and would want to be alone, Kakashi summoned Pakkun for _his_ turn to be bathed. Though the pug complained about having to bathe where a _cat_ had been just moments before, in truth he genuinely enjoyed his bath times. Of course, he complained again when Kakashi dismissed him, but that chunin was high-strung enough, without his ninken hanging around.

When Kakashi finally emerged from the bathroom, he casually looked around, trying to locate Iruka. He finally found the feline back on the couch, looking anything but relaxed.

Huddled on top of one towel, with the other draped over his body, he was shivering miserably. His fur was still quite damp, but Iruka had given up his attempts at drying in favor of seeking warmth in his improvised cocoon. Idly, he licked his forearm the way a normal cat would after a bath, before becoming aware of the action and abruptly tucking the arm underneath him.

Kakashi grabbed a fresh towel and approached. Without a word, he rubbed the cloth over Iruka's head and neck, drying them off. When the chunin offered no form of protest, Kakashi proceeded down to his shoulders and back. The cat pulled in tighter on himself, eyes downcast and ears swiveled out, practically radiating misery.

Having to depend on the jounin for something so simple was humiliating.

"Mah, sensei, everyone needs help now and then," Kakashi noted, once again demonstrating an almost uncanny ability to read his mind.

Iruka did not respond, and it disturbed the jounin how violently his mood had swung from defiant to defeated.

"I'm meeting with the genin again tomorrow," Kakashi began, changing the subject. "Would you like to come with me?"

Iruka glanced up at him, considering, before dropping his eyes and twitching his shoulder in his version of a shrug.

"I was wondering if you would help me train them," Kakashi continued. "That is, if you don't mind."

Iruka looked up again, more sharply this time. His cautiously puzzled eyes made the jounin imagine he was saying something to the effect of _"Is that a joke?" _or _"What do you mean?"_ or possibly even _"I can't quite tell if you're making fun of me, but if I decide that you are, so help me, I'll use you for a scratching post."_

"I'm being serious," Kakashi assured. "The way you evaded capture with limited access to your normal abilities demonstrated impressive versatility, situational awareness, and the ability to think fast and form plans under pressure. I'd appreciate if you'd agree to help in tomorrow's training."

Iruka waited for the punch line, but it never came. The request was sincere. With a nod, he acquiesced.

The prospect of being useful, even in this vulnerable form, was enough to bring the light back to the sensei's eyes.

* * *

The following morning, Kakashi stepped out of his bedroom to find the couch unoccupied. Iruka had slept there last night amidst the spare blankets Kakashi had set out. But now he was already up and about. He noted with some amusement that the chunin had attempted to fold the blankets neatly and set them aside. The result was an unstable pile of sloppily creased fabric.

He paused when something else caught his eye- the half eaten body of a dead mouse. Kakashi quickly cleaned up the remaining carcass. It was troubling. Not that the mouse was dead- he had no qualms over that. But if Iruka was hunting and eating mice, it did not bode well for the chunin's hold on humanity.

Bypassing the couch, Kakashi sought out the tabby. He walked toward the bathroom and pushed open the slightly ajar door.

The feline perched on the toilet let out an indignant yowl. Kakashi quickly clicked the door shut. "Sorry."

Leaning on the wall, he waited for his new housemate to finish. Eventually he heard a flush, and then a bit later the water running in the bathroom sink.

Finally, he heard a rather bossy-sounding meow. The Copy Nin peered inside. Iruka held a tube of toothpaste in his fangs.

"I'm not letting you borrow my toothbrush," Kakashi informed him, images of the dead mouse flashing in his mind.

Iruka merely tilted his chin upwards, silently demanding that the tube be opened.

The jounin shrugged and unscrewed the cap.

The cat held his paw out, pad up. Kakashi squirted a small glob of toothpaste onto it and the feline commenced vigorously scrubbing his tongue and fangs with his paw pads.

The shinobi took this moment to study Iruka with his Sharingan. There were limitations to the kind of changes he could notice. His right eye could see what sort of chakra was being exerted or utilized; it could _not_ see into the body's actual chakra pathways. From what Kakashi could tell, nothing had changed since last night, but he was going to recommend that Iruka be examined by a Hyuuga.

Iruka did not look like he'd be finished brushing his fangs any time soon. In fact he held his paw out, requesting an extra glob of toothpaste. Obviously, the mouse incident disgusted him, which in itself was a good sign.

Kakashi retrieved his own toothbrush, standing behind the feline and out of sight of the mirror, and commenced brushing his own teeth. The two shared that small sink.

Kakashi only narrowly missed spitting on the chunin when the latter craned his neck to catch some running water in his mouth. The tabby hissed in response, and the Copy Nin stopped himself from chuckling. Iruka did not seem to be a morning person.

However, he couldn't restrain the laugh when the cat tilted his head back and made a valiant attempt at gargling. That had to be one of the funniest things he'd seen in quite some time.

This earned him another irritable hiss from the sensei.

Yes, definitely not a morning person.

* * * * *

"I'm heading out early, Iruka," Kakashi informed him, heading toward the door. "Do you want to go out on your own for a while, or should I come back to pick you up when I'm ready to meet the kids?"

Iruka noticed that accompanying the jounin was not one of the options, and wondered what Kakashi would be doing. Not able to verbalize the question, he merely followed the man to the door, indicating his desire to spend that time outside.

"We'll meet at the bridge at 8:30," Kakashi informed him.

Iruka narrowed his eyes.

"All right, all right," the jounin sighed. "9:00, actually."

The sensei spent the first part of his morning spying on his Academy class. He wondered how they were holding up with his longer-than-anticipated-absence. Thus, Iruka lingered around the Academy grounds, observing his pre-genin students and creating a mental list of those who gave the substitute a hard time.

Punishment would be waiting for them once he got back to his classroom. That'll teach them not to set the substitute's toupee on fire.

When he decided that he'd seen enough, he set off to join Team 7. The chunin was walking along, contemplating suitably creative methods of discipline, when he suddenly found himself swept off his feet.

"Kitty!" A toddler held him in her pudgy arms, her face beaming with pure delight as she squeezed the life-giving oxygen from his lungs.

His reflexive response would have involved claws and fangs, but Iruka's humanely protective nature overrode animal instinct and he allowed himself to be crushed- merely offering a pained meow to let the girl now that he was acutely uncomfortable.

The child, heedless of his protest, toddled off to her mother, who was choosing tomatoes at the vegetable cart. "Mama, look! Kitty!"

Were Kakashi there, he would have known immediately that Iruka's eyes were pleading _"Woman, get your precious little monster off me!" _

Now most mothers would tell their child not to touch a strange animal, lest they contract some horrid disease. Unfortunately, little Ms. Vice-Grip's mommy was either a true cat-lover at heart, or perhaps simply didn't believe in germs.

"Oh, how _cute!"_ The woman gushed, pleased to see a cat placid enough to allow itself to be held by the child.

A gruff voice intervened the overflowing display of affection. "Put the cat down."

All three looked over to find Pakkun, with his packmates standing behind him like a troop ready to attack. "You heard me. That's _our_ cat."

The toddler pouted, squeezing tighter. "Mine!"

The mother was, thankfully, much more sensible. Especially when the behemoth black dog caught her eye. "Honey, you need to give the ninja dogs their kitty back." She coaxed the child to release her furry captive and hurried off, tomatoes completely forgotten.

Iruka gulped down precious oxygen, too absorbed with the act of breathing to really pay attention to the dogs. That is until, Pakkun stepped closer. "You okay, Iruka?"

The cat tensed and nodded. _They're just watching out for me_, he reminded himself. _Kakashi must have told them to follow me, in case I get into trouble. There's _nothing_ to be afraid of. _

The other dogs also stepped closer, curious about their new charge.

_I'm not afraid,_ Iruka reminded himself again, inclining his head in polite greeting. The dog with sunglasses took this as an invitation to step closer and sniff at him.

_I'm _not_ afraid_. He repeated his inner mantra.

Another dog with bandages wrapped around his neck actually poked his nose right in Iruka's face. They were all around him now, standing very close and the sensei felt distinctly claustrophobic. He shrunk in on himself.

_I'm not afraid. I'mnotafraid I'mnotafraid I'mnotafraid…_

Finally, the largest of the pack let out a low whine of disapproval. He stood over the cat, physically acting as a barrier between Iruka and the rest of the pack. The other ninken took the hint and backed away from the distressed feline.

The tiny cat stared up from his spot between the thick muscular forearms to get a better look at the canine towering over him like a breathing shield making sure the others kept their distance.

"His name's Bull," Pakkun interjected. "I guess he likes cats. Bull's always been a bit of a softy."

Bull looked down at Iruka, before planting a large slobbery dog kiss on his head.

* * * * *

When Iruka and the nindogs finally joined Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, his former students greeted him with curious looks. Most likely because Iruka was seated comfortably between Bull's shoulder blades.

Iruka meowed a greeting and, after patting the gargantuan dog on the head, perched lightly onto the rail of the bridge to join them in their wait. Kakashi had left the house long ago. What could he have been doing for all this time?

Another ten minutes drifted by.

"You're _late_!" Naruto and Sakura yelled suddenly.

Sure enough, the chronically tardy shinobi had finally decided to grace them with his presence. "I got caught up with my cat-sitting duties and time got away from me," he placidly responded.

"Liar! Iruka-sensei has already been here waiting!" Naruto accused.

"That's what he _wants_ you to think," Kakashi replied cryptically.

Naruto folded his arms against his chest. "Don't blame Iruka-sensei for your bad habits! _He_ doesn't lay around in bed when he _should_ be teaching his students!"

Iruka cringed at the implication that Kakashi had lounged at home all morning, as he knew that was not the case. The jounin was not lazy.

The Copy Nin, however, seemed unruffled by the accusation. "Is that so?" He hummed. "Well, in that case, it's a good thing Iruka-sensei agreed to help train you today." _That_ got his student's attention.

"We'll be testing your tracking skills in the forest. The three of you must try to find and capture Iruka. He'll get a twenty minute head start, then the rest of you are to follow. This will be a five-hour exercise. Now here are the rules. If you fail to capture Iruka in five hours, return here to our meeting area. You may use any jutsu or technique you want…"

"But I don't want to _hurt_ him!" Sakura interrupted.

"You won't," Kakashi assured.

"But..." Naruto waffled between wanting to protect his sensei, and wanting to believe he was too skilled to get injured by genin.

Sasuke frowned. "But what happens if we _do_ injure him?"

Kakashi tilted his head as he pondered. "Hm…Based on the severity…he'll get appropriate medical treatment. And you'll be forced to train with Gai-sensei's team for a month."

Iruka wondered why the mention of training with Gai could make even Sasuke pale. Sure, the spandex clad jounin was a bit over-exuberant, especially with his "dynamic" entries in the mission office, but he always turned in such flawless, impeccably-written reports. He even used a bright green paperclip to hold the multiple pages in perfect order. Gai really was a fine shinobi.

Kakashi continued on, "Now here are the stakes. If you fail to capture Iruka-sensei in the five hour time limit, you'll go without lunch today. But if you do capture him, he treats you all to Ichiraku Ramen."

_Hey!_ Iruka glared at the jounin. When did he agree to _that_?

Naruto whooped and threw his fist in the air. "Yeah!!! Talk about motivation!"

Well… it _had_ been a while since he'd treated his students to ramen, Iruka inwardly sighed. And besides, he had no intention of going easy on the kids. This was preparation for future missions. He'd make it as difficult as possible for them to track him. If they wanted to pass, they were going to have to work for it.

At Kakashi's prompting, the feline shinobi took his head start. While he sprinted, he thought through his strategy. Iruka was limited on jutsu to perform and on traps he could set without hands. But he could focus on creating false trails. Simple disorienting jutsus, misleading chakra signals, these were still well within his capabilities. And now that he thought of it, there _were _some traps he could still manage.

The more Iruka planned, the more fun this exercise seemed. The kids would get a chance to really see the classroom basics put into practice.

The feline was in the midst of preparing his first trap when it occurred to him: Kakashi had just found a way to keep his team occupied for the next five hours… without having to do a thing. And, win or lose, he wouldn't be responsible for lunch.

Lazy jounin.

* * *

Kakashi was reading in the limbs of a tree when the ANBU approached him.

"Hatake," Boar bowed "My squad returned from our mission late last night, and Morino has finally got information from our targets. Lord Hokage has requested Umino's presence."

"He's over there with the kids." Kakashi pointed vaguely in the direction of the forest, never taking his eyes off the book.

The ANBU nodded and took off.

The Copy Nin briefly wondered if he should have informed the black op of the training exercise. With a shrug, he turned his page. He'd figure it out soon enough.

Two hours later, a mud covered, quietly cursing ANBU emerged from the forest. His mask was askew and foliage clung to his uniform. In his right hand, a tan and brown tabby cat dangled by the scruff of his collar, miffed expression suggesting he didn't know what he'd done to make the man so angry

Kakashi watched the spectacle in amusement. His gaze then returned to the forest where Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura were still trying to find the now absent chunin. He should go tell them what happened.

The shinobi stretched and tucked his book away. Dropping to ground, he landed lightly and turned back to the village. He'd let them know in three hours, back at the bridge.

* * *

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow when his ANBU returned. Boar was very late and in a bedraggled state, holding the feline Iruka by the nape of his neck. The cat was deposited none too gently on the Hokage's desk.

"Was there a problem?" the Sandaime queried, worried for a moment that he'd run into an enemy along the way.

The ANBU went still for a moment. "None, sir." With a quick bow, he left.

Sarutobi shrugged off Boar's odd appearance and smoothed back Iruka's ruffled fur. "You'll be happy to know that we have the perpetrators in our possession, and Ibiki has already gotten some answers about your condition. Anko, would you give the report?"

Anko stood from the seat she'd been lounging in while waiting for the ANBU to return. Her eyes settled on Iruka and widened comically. "Oh, shit."

Iruka very clearly recalled being kicked clear across the trees when he'd been desperately low on chakra and in need of help. It seemed Anko remembered that incident as well. Seeing her now, looking so stunned, the sensei felt more inclined to forgive.

Anko burst into peals of laughter. "That was _you?!_" she managed to choke out, before dissolving into further hysterics.

Forget forgiveness. She'd better get a monsoon-proof trench coat for her pending journey to Rain Country.

At that moment, Kakashi swung in through the window, giving his leader a two finger salute and then standing there as though he had every right to be in the Hokage's office, with or without a summon.

Sarutobi rubbed his forehead, trying to reign in a growing headache. "Anko…the _report_?"

"Oh, right," the kunoichi cleared her throat. "Ibiki reports that Prisoner 2-B cast the jutsu, but is genuinely surprised by the affect it had on Iruka. It was an experimental technique that scrambles chakra paths, but it had never done anything like that before," she indicated the sensei's condition with a wave of her hand.

Iruka did not like where this was going. He waited for Anko to continue.

"Ibiki is still getting the finer details of the jutsu's execution. But he said that, since Iruka's Master Henge already alters his chakra paths, it's likely that the _reaction_ of Iruka's jutsu, when struck with the enemy's experimental one, caused his condition- not the technique in and of itself. But once we study the technique, that should give us the key to…"

"Lord Hokage!" a chunin burst through the door, interrupting Anko and bowing hastily to the leader. "Prisoner 2-B…he's dead!"

The Sandaime stood abruptly, but before he could say a word, Anko grabbed the messenger by the collar and shook him vigorously "_Dead?_ What do you mean _dead!_ Ibiki was supposed to be _careful_!"

The unfortunate shinobi squirmed under her withering glare "I-it wasn't Ibiki. The prisoner managed to k-kill himself. Poison. W-we're not sure yet how he hid it, but an investigation is underway."

"Anko, it does no good to kill the messenger. Put him down," Sarutobi sank down into his seat with a sigh. "Make sure Ibiki sends me the final report. You're dismissed."

The Hokage met Iruka's worry-filled feline eyes. His own weathered face set in a stubborn expression. "This isn't over yet, Iruka. We'll find answers another way."

"I believe he would benefit from a visit with the Hyuuga medics," Kakashi offered.

"And the Inuzuka veterinarians," Anko added.

"There's a specialist in Lightening Country who may be able to help us as well," Sarutobi pondered aloud. He gave the tabby a reassuring pat on the head. "We'll not leave you like this, Iruka. A solution _will_ be found."

Iruka unconsciously leaned into the Hokage's touch, trying his best not to panic. Sarutobi's presence was comforting. The elder had been like a father to him ever since the Kyuubi attack. He had no doubt whatsoever that the Hokage would do everything in his power to fix this.

It was difficult, however, to ignore the uneasy feeling of doubt that this problem could be fixed.

* * *

**Note to Reviewers**: Once I was done "editing," this six-page chapter became 12¼ pages long.

Some alterations include: the addition of Anko and her reaction to learning she'd kicked Iruka; and the appearance of Kakashi's nindogs, since many of you seemed to want to see Iruka react to them. Even just knowing what you found funny in the earlier chapters guided my writing in this one. And when I felt like putting the "editing" process off for a later time, a review would show up, motivating me to write again.

It's sad, really. You people have me wrapped around your collective little finger!

Still, I have not veered from the original storyline, despite having added and revised so many scenes. **The next chapter will be the last! **At the rate I'm going, expect it no earlier than Monday.

Many thanks to my reviewers/taskmasters: **xXxJaycee81196xXx, Ally Plz, KakashiKrazed, Reidluver, terracannon876, Inny-hakky, chibi heishi, jazzy2may, Key Shinigami, umino-gaara, Ryu Earth, SkaterValentine, Auphora66, dk-joy, Petague Killaboo, TheWatcherandReader, Rangerfan58, Phoenix Eternia, Rae-Wolf-Demon,** and **Lenea89**


	5. Chapter 5

Pakkun felt a cold, wet nose press into his side, pulling him out of sleep. Guruko was nudging him incessantly. "Hey boss, _boss_!"

The pug drew himself up to his full, unimpressive height and leveled his gaze on the midsize golden colored ninken. "_What_?" he snapped.

Guruko took a moment to adjust his hitai-ate, which had slipped a bit over his eyes in his haste to alert their pack leader. "It's the cat…there's something wrong with him."

Pakkun jumped up at that, and immediately went to investigate.

Iruka was asleep on the couch, but not at all peacefully. He lolled his head fitfully and thrashed his legs, as though he were running. As the small pug observed, the others in the pack also appeared, curious to find out what was going on.

Finally Pakkun spoke up. "He's just having a bad dream."

"…Should we wake him up?" Akino pondered, his ever present sunglasses catching the dim light filtering in from the kitchen.

"Oooh! Oooh! I'll do it!" the excitable Shiba volunteered. He bounced lightly on his toes, the dark tuft of hair on his head bouncing as well, as he waited for Pakkun's go ahead.

Urushi, the white dog, growled. "I wouldn't touch it. The beast needs to be declawed first. You saw what he did to Master Kakashi."

This reminder elicited similar growls from a few other members of the pack.

"But Master Kakashi wants him protected," Bull reminded, lest his mates lose sight of their directive.

Pakkun nodded. He wasn't fond of cats, but he had a good opinion of Iruka-sensei. There was no reason to let him become more distressed than he had to be.

Urushi had a point, though. The feline was liable to wake up fighting, especially since he was uneasy with the pack. The sensei's initial encounter with Pakkun had been entirely threatening, and it would take time to overcome that first impression. Most of the others, while they wouldn't hurt Iruka, disliked cats in general. They tried to hide these sentiments, but the feline intuitively picked up on their aversion. The rest, including Guruko and Shiba, were actually fascinated by the strange new creature. Unfortunately, their curiosity also came across as intimidating.

The only one who had made a true inroad of friendship was Bull. The enormous dog found it in his heart to care for the sensei, and Iruka in turn trusted him. "Bull, go wake Iruka," Pakkun ordered finally. "Watch out for the claws."

* * *

Vaguely, Iruka knew he had to be dreaming.

He was lost in a vast field of rye, but couldn't remember how or why he came to be here. The long golden stalks, bending under the weight of ripe grain, towered above his head. It blocked out even the sky, and in every direction he could see nothing but a sea of rye crop. Iruka slunk through the stalks, hoping to find _something_ to help him know where to go.

A tiny rustle caught his attention, and a small brown field mouse poked its head through the shafts. Iruka crouched, ears and tail low, wiggling slightly in preparation to pounce. The mouse, sensing danger, darted away and the feline tore after him. He could see the field mouse ahead, but no matter how swiftly he pursued, Iruka seemed to get no closer. Just as he was about to make a jump for it, a large black figure erupted from the ground and Iruka skidded to a halt.

Shrouded in darkness despite the bright gold rye stalks all about him, the strange ninja leaned over, a leering dog mask covering his face.

Iruka fled.

Something was wrong. Whereas before he'd been swift and fleet-footed, now his legs felt so heavy. Soon he was literally panting with the effort of forcing one leaden foot in front of the other. His heart pounded and it became difficult to see. Meanwhile the ninja was laughing, laughing as he ate up the distance between them.

The mask fell away, to reveal a vicious canine face. Jaws gaped open wide and a burst of hot, putrid breath overwhelmed his senses. The laughing dog-faced ninja bore down on him, sharp teeth glistening, saliva dripping. He lunged at the helpless feline…

And began vigorously licking his face.

Iruka groaned and opened his eyes to find Bull waking him with doggy kisses. The feline hissed sharply, demonstrating his aversion to being brought to consciousness by saliva and dog breath.

Bull backed down and pouted, whining at the harsh rejection.

Iruka pawed his fur back in the right direction and inwardly sighed. It _had_ been a pretty bad dream, and the behemoth had at least woken him gently. He offered a small chirrup sound, a mix of a purr and a high pitched mewl, by way of apology.

Encouraged, Bull began _licking_ him again, and Iruka placed his paw firmly on the dog's muzzle pushing it away. "Me-_ow," _he stated firmly in his best sensei-voice. He was not going to tolerate being covered in smelly dog saliva.

Bull blinked back at him, surprised by the cat's bossiness. Iruka patted the large muzzle approvingly for obeying his directive to cease licking. Then the feline settled back down to try to fall back asleep.

Bull watched him, considering. What if Iruka had bad dreams again? Maybe he should stay nearby to watch over him?

Once he made his decision, the enormous dog stepped up onto the couch. Iruka opened one eye warily as the couch springs groaned under the added weight. Bull settled down and the middle of the couch sagged deeply, causing the cat to slide down toward the depression.

Iruka's short glide ended when his body hit Bull's massive forearm. The behemoth wrapped his other arm around the tabby protectively. If he could, the sensei would have laughed at how absurd they must look.

Bull was much warmer than the blankets, and soon Iruka was purring absently as he fell asleep.

* * *

Kakashi stepped into his livingroom and blinked. He blinked again, half expecting the scene before him to vanish once he did so. But no- there was his largest ninken, Bull, sleeping on the sofa. The mammoth dog lay stretched out on his back, his limbs dangling lazily in the air.

Iruka, incidentally, was also sound asleep- curled up in a ball on the canine's broad, muscular chest.

The jounin smiled and shook his head. He could sure use a camera right about now. But since he didn't have one, he simply lifted the band of cloth off his right eye. Kakashi had more than his share of traumatizing moments forever etched into his mind by the Sharingan. Who would fault him for indulging in a fluffy scene every now and then?

Besides, he needed to keep track of Iruka's chakra.

Noticing no changes in the sensei's chakra pattern, the shinobi slipped into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast.

* * * * *

The smell of cooking sausages roused the feline from his sleep. Iruka stretched and almost dug his claws into his cushion before the rising of Bull's chest reminded him that his "cushion" was very much alive. Carefully, so as not to wake the ninkin, he slid down onto the couch itself. Iruka had slept well, but for that one time when Bull shifted in his sleep and the cat feared he was about to be crushed. That was when Iruka took the high ground, as it were. Now, he fondly rubbed his forehead against that of his self-appointed watchdog's and hopped lightly to the floor.

"I saw that," a gruff voice announced accusingly from behind.

Iruka blinked and turned his face toward Pakkun. "_Saw what?"_ his confused eyes clearly asked.

"Don't play dumb," the pug grudgingly replied. "You marked Bull. He belongs to _my_ pack. You can't have him."

Marked? Iruka looked back at the sleeping ninken. He hadn't…

Oh…didn't cats scent-mark their property by rubbing their face against it? Oops.

Pakkun stepped forward, teeth bared, "I don't tolerate anyone trying to break up my pack."

Iruka knew he should probably back down, crouch into some submissive posture, and show that he meant no harm. But, darn it, he wouldn't take such nonsense from a jounin and he sure wasn't going to take it from a summon. Tail swishing assertively and fur bristling, he hissed and took a swipe at the approaching ninken. _"Back off."_

Pakkun bristled at the unexpected challenge to his authority. This cat was getting too uppity for his own good. "Listen here! There's only room for _one_ alpha male in this house…"

"And _that_ would be me," Kakashi finished smoothly, grabbing both Iruka and Pakkun by the scruff of their necks. "Come on, you two. Breakfast time."

* * * * *

Breakfast had been a pack affair today. The jounin was hoping that with more time to acclimate to one another, Iruka and his ninken would get along better, and the feline could rid himself of his irrational fear of dogs.

Every dog had cleared his plate, and Kakashi had finished as well. Only Iruka's plate remained, food untouched, while the tabby sat moodily in his seat. That chunin could sure hold a grudge.

"Sensei, there's no need to be catty," Kakashi teased. "Just eat something."

Iruka glared at him.

The shinobi sighed. "Look, I didn't mean it. Eating my food doesn't make you my beta. Now stop acting so childish," He held the plate up closer, "The sausages are really good. Try one."

At that, the feline merely yawned.

Now Kakashi knew where Naruto got his insolence.

He wasn't about to resort to pleading with the stubborn chunin, so he took the plate and offered it to his pack, who quite readily wolfed down the extra food. "I'm going out again, sensei. I'll be done before your appointment at the vet's. Are you staying in today or going out?"

Iruka tilted his head as he considered. He wondered where Kakashi would be going- _again_- so early in the morning.

Worried that the jounin might come back late, Iruka indicated that he wanted to be out. That way, he could go to the appointment himself if he needed to. Once he was outdoors, Iruka decided to keep to the rooftops in order to avoid the people in the streets. He certainly didn't want a repeat of the episode from yesterday.

The only ones who traveled by rooftop were ninja, and he doubted any of _them_ would randomly pick him up and squeeze the life out of him.

"_Iruka-sensei!_" Naruto scooped the unsuspecting cat off his feet and crushed him to his chest.

"Meow," came the muffled response through folds of orange fabric.

Thankfully, the genin allowed his grip to slacken somewhat. "Kakashi-sensei told us he was taking you to an appointment today. He'd better not be slacking off!"

Iruka shook his head sternly. His thoughts were along the line of, _"You shouldn't speak so rudely about your sensei."_

Naruto set the cat back down and patted his head, "Are the two of you getting along okay?"

A flashback of the rather silly conflict over this morning's breakfast came to the chunin's mind and the irony of it sank in. Becoming a cat may have amplified Iruka's stubbornness- and he was never really a morning person to begin with- but that was no reason to behave so rudely. Sometimes they got along just fine. At other times he and Kakashi clashed like, well, like cats and dogs. But rather than admit these depressing failures to the genin, he merely nodded.

"Good," Naruto grinned, pleased. "I've gotta run; our team is training with Asuma-sensei's today. Have fun at the vet. And whatever happens, don't let them make you a new-derd!"

And with that disturbing admonition, the blond took off.

Iruka sighed. He was nervous about his upcoming appointments with the Inuzuka veterinarians and the Hyuuga medics. That nervousness only increased as he tried to kill time before he and Kakashi met up again.

His thoughts circled until it finally occurred to him to wonder, what _was_ Kakashi doing anyway? Iruka's tail twitched as he pondered the question. Suddenly, it seemed the most fascinating puzzle in the world. What would the jounin be doing every morning that made him so late to his team meetings?

Iruka shook his head. It was really none of his business anyway. More than likely, the jounin was training and simply didn't want anyone to see his technique. Prying into something that the copy ninja obviously wanted to keep private was very rude indeed.

But… if Iruka knew for _certain_ that Naruto was wrong about Kakashi's slacking, then he could in full confidence admonish the boy for his disrespect.

The chunin immediately scoffed at himself. It was just an excuse, and a flimsy one at that! There was no need for him to know how Kakashi spent his mornings.

In fact… he didn't even _want _to know.

Yeah, that's right, Iruka nodded to himself. Who cared?

Certainly not him.

And thus the reasonable, respectful sensei was unwaveringly determined _not_ to care when, lo and behold, from his high rooftop vantage point, Iruka noticed Kakashi's solitary form in the distance. The jounin had also taken to the rooftops, and was traveling rather quickly toward some unknown destination.

To follow, or not to follow? The question was so compelling that Iruka walked toward the ledge of the roof, tracking Kakashi with his eyes as he tried to make his decision.

Finally, he stepped back and walked away from the ledge.

But only far enough to get a good running start. From there, he leapt to the next rooftop and began his pursuit.

* * *

Once Iruka noticed that they were heading toward one of the training grounds, he figured he was correct in guessing that Kakashi used his mornings for personal training. It made sense for a jounin of his status.

But when he arrived at the training field to find it unoccupied, the sensei realized his calculations had been off. Kakashi wasn't here. But he must be nearby. With that thought in mind he began to carefully search the area.

His nose twitched when he caught a trace of Kakashi's scent in the air. Immediately, he slunk into the shrubbery, staying hidden while he located the source. He was getting closer, he just knew it.

The feline kept his form low to the ground, treading circumspectly- every motion painstakingly slow and deliberate. It was like hunting the mouse all over again, except much more exhilarating. His prey this time around was infinitely more dangerous.

Heart pounding, pupils dilated, Iruka stalked closer to where he knew his target lay. Just beyond the next shrub…

"They say curiosity killed the cat, you know," a relaxed voice stated behind him.

The feline leapt a foot into the air, practically startled out of his skin. There was Kakashi, hands in his pocket, leaning casually against a tree trunk.

Even as jittery as he was from the adrenaline rush, Iruka had the presence of mind to feel dreadfully embarrassed at having been caught- and even more embarrassed at his impulsive decision to follow the man in the first place, when Kakashi had been quite clear about his desire to be alone. Even if he did have an explanation for his behavior, the feline wouldn't be able to offer it, so instead he meowed as contritely as possible.

Kakashi furrowed his brow at the immediately apologetic response. It was the complete opposite of Iruka's insolent behavior this morning. The Copy Nin noted how, just moments earlier, the chunin absolutely resembled a cat on the prowl. Now, with his paw guiltily rubbing his scar, his mannerisms absolutely resembled his normal human self.

The sensei's stark changes in behavior from one minute to the next concerned him. The Inuzuka vets weren't due to be in the Konoha Veterinary Hospital for another two hours, and the Hyuuga medics weren't on duty at the main hospital until two hours after that.

Kakashi didn't care to wait that long. "Come on, Iruka, we're going to have you checked out _now_."

Without waiting for the sensei's response, Kakashi scooped the tabby up in his arms and made his way to the Inuzuka compound. As he moved further away from the Memorial Stone that had been just a couple of yards from their position, Kakashi offered silent apologies to his deceased comrades for neglecting his vigil. Surely they would understand.

* * *

**Author's Note to Reviewers: **Considering that this chapter simply did not exist... zero pages became seven in my "editing" process this time around.

Most of you are aware that some evil reviewers managed to convince me that this story really could use an extra chapter before its intended end.

This is actually only the first _half_ of my extra chapter, but it was the most I could manage in my sluggish, ill condition. The second half of this chapter will be up as soon as I can manage to write it. ^^; After that, there's only the original ending left.

*sigh* Somehow, it's getting more and more difficult to delude myself into believing I am only editing.

Thanks for your encouragement, **Wordsplat, Reidluver, Rae-wolf-demon, sillvog, Ryu Earth, ****xXxJaycee81196xXx, Julieanna333, Petague Killaboo, Inny-hakky, InARealPickle, Rangerfan58, Dobby123, SwissArmyKnife, Pheonix Eternia, KakashiKrazed, terracannon876, chibi heishi, ruminate, Auphora66, jazzy2may, Avenasoblivion, umino-gaara, VescaWithoutWings,** and** lost highway**!

The following is a review reply to an anonymous reviewer, **ruminate**, (if you are _not_ him/her, you need not read it. Unless you're curious.)

It troubled me quite a bit that you should leave such a detailed, insightful review and that I wouldn't be able to properly thank you for it, due to your anonymity. This was the best remedy I could think of. I'm pleased that you are picking up on the "layers" (as you put it) of Kakashi and Iruka's character. Although, it's somehow ironic that after you thank me for updating so often, I end up making everyone wait longer than usual. ^^; But alas, fanfiction is subject to the demands of Real Life...which cannot always scheduled or anticipated.

And thank you for sending that link with the ninja cat picture! It was very much appreciated!

Since I have no other way to do so, allow me to also thank you for your similarly insightful review of Sharpening Iron. I currently do _not_ have another story for the Paperwork universe in progress, but the series is close to my heart so it's not out of the question. I want to point out one of your comments in particular: "…rather than that ANBU adopting Iruka like some abandoned kitty in the rain, I kinda see it as the other way around ... Iruka adopting them in the same way he takes care of Kakashi ... he likes to be helpful, and he sees how they do care for each other ... so if some of them happen to show up on Iruka's doorstep to bypass the hospital like Kakashi does, he'd not turn them away." That was exactly the sense I was trying to convey! I personally thought I did a poor job of that. But in my mind, while the ANBU are certainly looking out for the sensei, these ANBU have also become a part of the family of strays Iruka has taken in…even if these particular strays are disturbingly dangerous!

Thank you again for both your thoughtful reviews!


	6. Chapter 6

FanArt: A big thanks to Snowblooms who drew the "alpha argument" scene! You can find the link to that and other fanart on my profile.

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* * *

In the Inuzuka compound, a young genin sleepily drew the covers over his head in a valiant attempt to ignore his sister calling him down to breakfast.

"Kiba!" The older Inuzuka growled and smacked her brother's blanket-covered head. Finally, she straightened in a huff and left the room.

Moments later a booming roar filled the house "INUZUKA KIBA GET DOWN HERE AT ONCE! DON'T _MAKE_ ME SEND KUROMARU!"

Upon hearing his mother's ungentle entreaty, the boy jumped to his feet. Or at least the attempt was made. The blankets in which he had ensconced himself earlier now tangled themselves around his limbs and sent him tumbling over the side of the bed. Akamaru whined at his master's fall, and offered his sympathies with a lick to his face.

It was just one of those mornings.

Kiba finally arrived at the Inuzuka breakfast table, bedclothes rumpled and wild hair standing even more messily than normal. While he was not sufficiently awake to return the morning greeting of some of his fellow clansmen, he had energy enough to glare at Hana for snitching to mother. Then he scanned the crowded room for an open seat.

The Inuzuka compound was very spacious, separately housing the many families within the Inuzuka clan. Wide stretches of grassy areas allowed plenty of room for their canines to exercise. In fact, if one so chose it was possible to live there without having to socialize with anyone else. The Inuzuka did not so choose.

Strong family relationships were a trademark of this clan. Meal times were often large communal events and this day was no different. It seemed like everybody and their dog had come over for breakfast.

Before Kiba had a chance to sit down, Tsume sent him to the kitchen to fetch more orange juice. This time the boy hurried, realizing his tardiness could mean that the best of the food may be gone by the time he got around to eating. Bearing a heavy glass pitcher, the pajama-clad genin made his way back to the table.

A small yip was his only warning before one of his cousin's dogs tore across his path, causing the genin to trip. He pitched backward, unable to successfully fight off gravity this early in the day.

A set of strong arms prevented Kiba's second fall of the morning, as well as spared the juice container from spilling. The genin looked up to see the kind eyes of his Uncle Kawa. The elder chuckled and patted the boy's untamed mop of hair before steering him safely to the breakfast table.

"Watch your step, boy. It's a jungle out there." Kawa grinned, his extended canines gleaming, as he pulled up a chair for one of his favorite nephews.

"Uncle," Hana cut in, "Did you get that message from the Hokage last night? Something about scheduling an appointment first thing this morning?"

"Yes, I did," the elder acknowledged. "I'll be going to the office early today. But you don't need to trouble yourself, Hana. Just come in at your regular time."

"Oh, but I would like to go, if you don't mind!" Hana had a sharp mind for medical jutsu, and she pounced upon any opportunity to learn more. If the Hokage was requesting the Inuzuka's best veterinarian, it would have to be for something serious. She was intrigued to know what it could be.

Kiba, on the other hand, was quickly growing bored of the conversation. "Hey, sis, would you pass the…"

His words were cut off by a loud pop and a voluminous cloud of chakra smoke. When teleporting into Inuzuka territory, openly declaring one's presence was the best way to indicate good will and prevent being mauled to death by ferocious canines. Of course there were no guarantees.

The smoke dissipated to reveal Hatake Kakashi, who managed to land right on the butter Kiba had been about to request. The jounin blinked his exposed eye before casually hopping off the table and wiping his now greasy sandal against the floor. In his arms lay a small, huddled-up brownish creature.

This may have caused a much bigger commotion, had it been the first time Kakashi randomly materialized in the Inuzuka compound. As it were, Tsume merely sighed at the interruption before sending one her nephews ahead to prepare the clan's personal medical ward.

Kiba well remembered the first time Sharingan Kakashi appeared in their home, cradling his mortally wounded ninken, Bisuke, to his chest.

Uncle Kawa hadn't muttered a word of protest at the disruption. He quickly got to work on the unexpected patient with an intense but sleep-blurred gaze.

"_Why didn't you take him to the Veterinary Hospital?" _ Tsume had disapprovingly asked the teenage Kakashi. Four-year-old Kiba hung back at the doorway, dreadfully curious about the strange interruption.

Though it was 2 am, Kakashi had shown no sign of fatigue. His visible eye was alert and nervous, never leaving his nindog's too-still form even as he answered the question. _"He doesn't need a vet. He needs an Inuzuka."_

Those words, along with the jounin's deep care and devotion to his ninken, sealed Kakashi's place in the hearts of the clan. From that day forward, the young jounin prodigy was known to appear at the oddest moments, injured canine in tow.

In the present, Hana rushed forward worried over what may have motivated this latest visit. "Oh no! Is it Pakkun?"

The furball in his arms stirred and ventured to hesitantly lift his head. Pointed ears and a whiskered face became visible. Every Inuzuka froze at the anomaly.

"It's Naruto's _cat!"_ Kiba proclaimed at length, scrunching his features in distaste.

Several dogs bayed loudly at announcement, and four of them lunged forward, barking wildly at the unwelcomed intruder. Akamaru dared to scamper right up to the jounin's ankles and snarl his assault from there.

Thoroughly frightened, the feline clawed his way up Kakashi's arm and tucked himself in the niche between the jounin's neck and the extended collar of his flax jacket. There he remained, trembling like a leaf while the dogs snapped and growled ferociously. The Copy Ninja winced at the feeling of claws digging into the base of his neck.

Tsume crossed her arms. "Kakashi…What in the world are you doing with a _cat?_"

"This doesn't look like much of an emergency," Hana added in the midst of trying to convince the canines to settle down.

Kakashi's attempt to reply was drowned out by the barking of the more excitable dogs. While he tried to explain himself _and_ coax the feline on his neck to loosen his claws, a young Inuzuka child approached. The six-year-old girl began sniffing his pant leg.

"You smell like Iruka-sensei," she stated confidently, her dark eyes meeting Kakashi's. "Does that mean he's back from his mission?"

Tsume took a whiff of the air and recognized the teacher's scent as well. "You _do _smell like Iruka," she confirmed before proceeding to sniff Kakashi's chest, arms, and finally his neck while the Copy Nin tried to back away. The Inuzuka had little concept of "personal space."

"That cat reeks of the sensei," Tsume declared. "And so do your arms and chest." She hardly faltered before bluntly asking, "Have you two been cuddling?"

Kakashi managed a dry chuckle, "Well, I suppose you can call it that…" Suddenly he cringed. "_Ow!_ Dammit, Iruka, I was _kidding!_"

That did nothing to soften the tabby's wrathful gaze or convince him to retract his now deeply embedded claws.

Dr. Kawa stepped behind the silver haired shinobi and placed a hand on either of Kakashi's shoulders, moving to steer him away. "Come, Kakashi- that cat is seriously agitated. I suggest we move to a less threatening environment before you try to explain yourself."

* * *

Hana looked stricken. Slowly, she leveled her face to the cat sitting on the examining table. "…Iruka-sensei?"

The feline nodded, and the young veterinarian let out a dismayed sound. "How terrible!"

Tsume practically bristled in the background. The Inuzuka were notoriously fond of the dedicated teacher of their youngest pups. "How _dare_ they turn Iruka into a cat! A _cat_ of all things! When I get my hands on the ones responsible…"

Kakashi sighed. "Unfortunately the one responsible is already dead, and we weren't able to learn how to reverse the process. We're hoping that you could help, especially since the Inuzuka specialize in many jutsu involving animal-human transformations."

"We'll do our best," Hana assented. "Obviously our transformations are canine in nature, but I imagine some of the same principals apply."

Dr. Kawa smiled and patted Iruka's head. "Don't worry sensei, as _cat_astrophic as your problem may seem, I'm sure we'll find the solution."

"_Uncle_," Hana rolled her eyes at the pun.

"What?" the elder grinned innocently. "Our shinobi being turned into felines- I'd consider that catastrophic…Cataclysmic even."

The others failed to laugh, but Kawa didn't let that bother him. He chuckled to himself as he prepared the lab for testing.

Meanwhile, Hana convinced the Copy Ninja to take off his vest and let her treat the cat scratches on his neck and shoulders. Noting the additional marks on his temples and wrist, she glanced over at the elder, "Be careful, Uncle. He scratches."

As a Konohan vet, Kawa worked with various species on a regular basis and knew how best to handle them. And as for working with uneasy humans, he found that usually required a bit of humor to lessen the tension. "Well, sensei, lets begin by running some tests, shall we?" Kawa's eyes twinkled with mirth. "That way, we can properly _cat_egorize your symptoms."

The feline sensei scoffed at the poor joke, but also visibly relaxed.

"First, my assistant will conduct a pre-exam to help focus our search."

Iruka glanced over at Hana, who was still busy talking to Kakashi. She must not have noticed her uncle mentioning her.

Kawa smiled, his canines gleaming as he did so, "Oh no, I didn't mean Hana. She is my apprentice. Meet my assistant, Kinmaru."

At the elder's prompting, a large dog stepped out from around a particularly large machine. His dense gold fur appeared bright and well-maintained, and his large brown eyes held a gleam as gentle as that of his master's.

Iruka backed away in spite of himself.

"There's no need to worry, Iruka-sensei," the vet rubbed the dog's neck. "Kinmaru wouldn't hurt a flea unless I told him to. Why, just yesterday we were examining some of the Aburame's insects that came down with a bug."

"One of them accidentally got caught up my nose," Kinmaru elaborated, "But other than that, it went without incident." The canine stepped forward and set his front paws on the mat of Iruka's examining table. "Are you ready for the pre-exam?" he asked in a rich baritone voice.

The sensei looked from the dog, to the vet, and finally to Kakashi who gave him a reassuring nod. Iruka stared warily at the patiently-waiting Kinmaru before offering his own assenting nod.

The straight, tapered canine muzzle nudged his chest as the dog began sniffing out possible ailments. Iruka jumped when the cold wet nose moved down to his side and continued making his way along his entire body. If Inuzuka humans were bad about personal space, their dogs were much worse.

Iruka squirmed when Kinmaru worked his way up to the sensei's head and neck. "Hold still," the dog admonished, lightly placing his large paw on the patient's back. He lingered much longer at the head, carefully scenting out every centimeter of the feline skull.

Once the beast was satisfied, he and his master quietly consulted with one another. Whatever the initial prognosis was, it could not have been good as Kawa's expression grew increasingly troubled.

Finally, the man was back, a benevolent smile on his face. "Kinmaru believes we need to take a good look at your brain, Iruka, so in addition to the normal tests, I'll have to run you through the more comprehensive scans."

From that point on, the experience was complete misery.

Iruka was poked, prodded, x-rayed, and stuck into scanning machines that made him feel increasingly claustrophobic. They'd taken so much of his blood for testing he wondered that he was still conscious. Sensors and wires were attached all over his head and body, and readings were taken as he was instructed to run on a miniature treadmill, perform backflips, or look at various inkblots and think about what they resembled (_splattered ink, spilled weapon oil, blood stain, MOUSE!, blotch on a jounin's mission report…)_

It was getting to be too much, these incessant tests, and Iruka finally decided he needed a break before he snapped. Since he couldn't _ask_ them to give him some breathing space for a minute, he just went ahead and took it. The medics weren't too pleased.

"Come now, Iruka, this is the last one- I promise," Kawa assured.

"Yes, just one more scan, and it isn't even painful," Hana added. "Now please come out."

Ha. That's what they'd said three scans ago. Iruka ignored them and curled up a bit more comfortably in the recess he'd discovered underneath the examining table. It was angled in just the right way to keep him out of reach of their searching arms.

* * * * *

Kinmaru, the veterinarian's assist, watched in amusement as his human tried to convince the sensei to vacate his hiding spot. Once a feline got it in his mind to do something, he couldn't be prevailed upon to do otherwise with mere words.

While the humans continued to reason with the cat, the golden haired canine padded lightly to the supply cabinet and nudged it open. A quick survey of its shelves and he spotted the large canvas bag his human sometimes carried to work.

Pawing through the contents of the bag, Kinmaru rifted through dog toys, bird swings, lizard treats, and various other pet supplies. Finally he withdrew a red and white cloth mouse-shaped toy.

Kakashi, meanwhile, was fingering the summoning scroll in his pocket. "Perhaps I should have Pakkun go in there…"

A canine whine interrupted him and Kinmaru pressed the toy mouse into his human's hand. "We don't want to scare him," the dog gently put in.

Kawa beamed at his loyal companion. "Very good idea!"

Kinmaru wagged his tail at the praise, and watched his human make use of the item. The elder wound a length of chakra wire around the toy and held onto the other end. The plaid mouse dangled just over the edge of the examining table. It twitched and jumped, tempting the predator lurking beneath. Unfortunately, several minutes passed and it seemed Iruka would not take the bait.

Kawa was about to admit defeat when a tan paw suddenly darted out from under the table, snagging the cloth mouse and attempting to pull it under. The elder's quick reflexes drew the toy back before it was lost.

The Inuzuka grinned. Now he had him.

It didn't take as long for Iruka to strike the second time. Again only the paw could be seen, but his aim was true and the mouse was again snagged. Kawa gave him some slack, but not enough for the cat to withdraw entirely. Kinmaru was ready and, with one swipe of his wiry forearm, swept the chunin out into the open.

Kakashi expected Iruka to hiss and growl at the assault. So when the feline did nothing more than blink dreamily and resume his contented munching on the cloth toy, he raised an eyebrow at the Inuzuka. "You drugged him?"

"Nah, it's just catnip, completely harmless," Kawa assured. "It brings out the kitten in 'em."

As though in testament to the vet's words, Iruka rolled onto his back and began rabbit kicking the hapless toy.

"Great," Kakashi sighed. "Can we work on bringing out the _human_ in him now?"

* * * * *

"Aaannd…we're finished," Kawa declared, releasing Iruka from the scanning machine. With a pat on the feline's head, he added, "You did well."

Iruka managed a half-hearted glare.

The Inuzuka continued on, unruffled. "Now you and Kakashi can wait here while Hana and I get some of the preliminary results. Once we've _cat_alogued these findings, I'll be back to report," he finished with a wink.

* * * * *

Kakashi and Iruka were still in the clinic two hour later, eating the food Tsume had brought up for them, when Kawa hurried into the room.

The Copy Nin furrowed his brow. "You can't possibly have all the results yet."

"Not most of them," the vet acknowledged, "But Kinmaru's preliminary exam indicated that I pay particular attention to Iruka's chakra system and brain function, so I gave those tests first priority… I feel I should share some of the findings I uncovered in Iruka's _CAT_ scan."

"You need to give up on those cat jokes already," Kakashi sighed. "You've killed it."

The Inuzuka balked. "It wasn't a joke! The results of his _CAT_ scan- the _Chakra_ _Axial_ _Tomography _scan, that is- are quite sobering. Iruka's chakral system is choked with foreign chakra, as you suspected. It's adversely affecting his entire body, but the damage is worst around the brain. I would guess that the jutsu struck him in the head first."

"What exactly do you mean by _worst_?" the jounin queried.

"His chakra network is most scrambled in the cerebral cavity. So much so that it's impeding his brain's capabilities. We all know that the body will physically respond to a distressed chakral system. There are imbalances in Iruka's brain chemistry that can accounts for his personality changes. On top of that, some of his synapses are misfiring, improperly transmitting nerve signals. That's why he lost his speech and literacy skills. I've checked his vocal apparatus and there's no reason why he shouldn't be _able_ to talk. It's simply that his mind is unable to communicate certain functions to the rest of his body."

Iruka listened to the initial prognosis with increasing tension, every muscle in his body coiling tightly with trepidation. It had been frustrating to be incapable of expressing his thoughts verbally or to behave in ways he couldn't quite control. It was downright frightening that the reason behind it was not the simply the powers of this mystery jutsu, but actual harm to his brain. Was he getting worse as time passed?

Kakashi seemed to have read his mind, for his next question was "Can you tell if his condition is progressive?"

Kawa raised his hands in a helpless gesture and shook his head. "Our ability to study and decipher the chakra system is limited. I can't tell if his condition is degenerative or if it will remain stagnant. For that I will need to consult with a Hyuuga. In fact, while I have all the equipment needed for chakra surgery and various sealings that may help, Iruka's case is such that it would be foolhardy to attempt any sort of treatment without direct Hyuuga involvement."

"So basically," Kakashi translated, "You have everything you need right here in this clinic, except for a Hyuuga specialist?"

"Well, yes, I suppose you could put it that way…"

"Any particular Hyuuga you have in mind?"

Kawa blinked. "Well, Hyuuga Sanye is normally the one who works in collaboration with the veterinarians, but…" he trailed off uncertainly.

"But…?" Kakashi prompted.

"I'm thinking that Hyuuga Naoto may be better equipped to handle a problem this intricate," Kawa admitted. "He and I don't get along very well, but I can't deny his exceptional skill. Unfortunately, it can be inordinately difficult to get an appointment with him since…"

The Inuzuka didn't even get to finish his sentence before Kakashi abruptly swooped out the window.

Iruka and the vet traded slightly startled looks.

Kawa recovered first, and with a toothy grin commented, "Well… he sure _cat_apulted out of here quick!"

* * *

Hyuuga Naoto wordlessly followed the Copy Ninja.

That is, until he completely bypassed the route they _should_ have taken.

"Hatake, we'll overshoot the Hokage Tower if we continue this way," the Hyuuga frowned. How could Kakashi _not_ know his way around the village?

"That's fine. We're not going to the Tower, anyway." The silver-haired jounin did not slacken his pace, and he offered no further explanation.

Naoto raised his brows at this. "So then…where are we meeting with Lord Hokage?"

"We're not."

Still no explanation forthcoming. Naoto was beginning to feel annoyed. "But I thought you said I was being _summoned_."

"You are," the jounin blandly responded. He sustained his swift pace through the tree tops as they moved further and further from the center of the village, never once turning to look at the medic.

Naoto's annoyance flared to full blown aggravation. No one but the Hokage himself, or the head of the Hyuuga clan, had the authority to call him away from his home. Clearly they were meeting with neither. "Then _who,_ pray tell, is summoning me?"

The Copy Ninja did pause at this. He tilted his head just enough to see the Hyuuga from the corner of his eye. That eye then crinkled shut in an easy smile as he answered.

"I am."

With that audacious assertion, the silver haired shinobi took off again. Naoto could only watch for a moment before quickly clicking his mouth shut. The _nerve_ of that man! Why, he had half a mind to turn around and go home.

He turned to do just that, only to find his path barred by a monstrous, black dog with spikes on its collar. The beast narrowed its eyes at the lone Hyuuga.

Naoto took a step back as he reconsidered. Was it worth fighting this creature? Perhaps he should at least find out what was so important that it required such an unusual summon.

After a moment's deliberation, and a deep growl from the canine, Naoto resumed his previous course of trailing the Copy Ninja.

* * * * *

The Hyuuga was quickly brought up to speed on the situation. Naoto was immediately aware that, as this case involved little Hanabi's sensei, the Hokage probably had a vested interest in this chunin's restoration. Nothing but the staunch support of Sarutobi Hiruzen could have spared Iruka from Hyuuga Hiashi's campaign to get him fired last year.

Unauthorized summon or not, there was no refusing this case.

"Let me see the lab results," Naoto sighed.

He meticulously poured over the readings before he so much as glanced at Iruka. Finally, he was ready for his examination. The feline slouched in dismay at the prospect of a new round of tests.

"_Byakugan,_" the medic crisply declared. A network of veins bulged at either temple as his bloodline ability activated. Milky white eyes stared intently, and the man spoke no further for several minutes. Fur bristling, Iruka shifted restlessly under the disconcerting scrutiny.

"Hn." That was all the Hyuuga said when he concluded his observation and deactivated his byakugan. Iruka could hardly believe he had gotten off so easily.

"Well, what do you think?" Kawa prompted.

"Definitely degenerative," Naoto supplied. "His body is trying to equalize itself by assimilating the foreign chakra into his system. The process is proceeding very slowly, but the more it becomes incorporated in his body, the more difficult it will be to undo the damage."

"And once the assimilation is complete?"

If possible, the medic's face grew even more somber. "Should the assimilation become complete, restoration would probably be impossible."

The Inuzuka recoiled at the thought. "Then we must isolate the foreign chakra at once. I suggest that we…"

"Patience," Naoto chided. "I want to understand the situation more fully before proceeding." He picked up a pen and parchment from a side table and sat in Kawa's chair. "I need to ask you a few questions, Iruka-sensei."

The feline nodded his consent.

"When you were hit with the jutsu," Naoto began, "Did you experience dizziness?"

After a moment's consideration, the tabby shook his head.

"Nausea?"

A quick nod. The Hyuuga jotted down the affirmative response and proceeded with more questions.

"Did you experience lightheadedness? Weakness? Pain? Did you lose consciousness? Experience numbness? Yes? Was your whole body numb? Ah, well then what about your head? Neck? Shoulders?..."

While Naoto was the paradigm of patience, Kawa became increasingly restless as the string of questions grew longer and more tedious. "Is this really necessary, Naoto? If his condition is progressing we need to take action now."

The Hyuuga shot him a patronizing look and didn't bother replying before resuming his interview. The Inuzuka pushed back a growl and grudgingly waited. He didn't agree with his counterpart, but for Iruka's sake he resolved to at least be civil.

Kawa was doing admirably well. That is, until Naoto began _this_ series of inquiries: "Did you catch any of the handsigns used in the jutsu? You did? All of them? Oh, only some… Did you notice the sign of the tiger? The horse? The monkey? Hm. Did you see it only once? Twice? Okay twice. Now how about the sign of the…"

"You're not _seriously_ going to prattle off every sign in existence!"

"I am," the medic replied coolly. "And then I'll try to ascertain their order."

"Look, I understand this could be useful for future research, but we have a patient who needs treatment _now_," Kawa argued. "Knowing a handful of the signs contained in an unknown jutsu won't have any bearing on that."

"Perhaps not, but I can't afford to leave that possibility unexplored."

The vet scoffed. "And you've managed to choose the most tedious method of exploring it, too."

"Excuse me for being unable to magically read his mind! If _you've_ picked up that ability, then by all means go ahead," the medic snapped with sarcasm (perhaps the only form of humor within most Hyuuga's capabilities).

Kawa opened his mouth to argue back, but stopped abruptly when an idea came to him. "_We_ can't read his mind, Naoto... But a Yamanka certainly can." He smirked triumphantly.

Kakashi, who up until this point had remained on the sidelines sporting a terminally bored expression, returned the Inuzuka's grin as their gazes met.

"Any particular Yamanaka you have in mind?"

* * *

Author's Note: Lo, eleven pages of material created by delving into events only briefly alluded to in the original version! From Kiba to catnip, reviewer input continues to increase the scope of this short tale. And now that the Yamanaka blindsided me one day by insisting on being included in this story, I still have another chapter to go before I post the ending. November 11 is my target upload date.

You may have noticed I changed the secondary character from "Naruto" to "Kakashi." Obviously, the jounin has hijacked this story. Naruto's sulking at the moment, but he'll be back for the ending.

Thank you for your reviews, encouragement, inspiration, and patience **lost highway, Phoenix Eternia, KakashiKrazed, chibi heishi, Dobby123, terracannon876, VescaWithoutWings, Rangerfan58, Wordsplat, Sillvog, Linda, Wing Moon, Ryu Earth, TheWatcherandReader, Reidluver, Auphora66, Balance-The-Moon-And-Stars, Nicha The Purple Ghost, Slinkymilinky, Inny-hakky, ****Avenasoblivion, Snowblooms, DolphinsBreatheFyre, Swiss Army Knife, **and** deviltiger.  
**

[Review reply to anonymous Linda]

I'm glad you're enjoying the humor. And I especially appreciate your pointing out the details that made the story for you. Thanks for commenting on the characterization, as that is the element on which I probably invest the most effort. ^^; Writing from the pack's pov last chapter was more fun than I expected. And finally, I expect to be able to give you a glimpse of what happens to Anko in the very last chapter.

Thank you for your feedback!

~Why'


	7. Chapter 7

***Note:** All credit for the setting and design of Iruka's mindscape goes directly to **Petague Killaboo**. I was _enthralled_ by the mindscape concept she presented in the story Forgotten, and she so very graciously permitted me to use it in my own writing. I expanded on it in this chapter, but in truth this is her brain child. _Thanks Petague! _

* * *

Yamanaka Inoichi and Hatake Kakashi were both former ANBU captains, having led their respective teams in joint operations during and after the Third Great Shinobi War. Bonds forged on the battlefield could not be weakened over something as inconsequential as the passing of time.

So when Kakashi showed up at his front door with a request for assistance, Inoichi didn't need to be asked twice.

The Yamanka also had a friendly enough relationship with his daughter's Academy sensei, Umino Iruka. With his clan's expertise being what it was, Inoichi prided himself on being an excellent reader of people's character. Iruka, he judged, was a strong-minded individual and a surprisingly inventive teacher. The latter became obvious once Inoichi recognized the unseen significance of the school assignments his daughter routinely complained about. It would be a shame to lose a mind like the sensei's.

"So exactly what kind of information do you need to uncover?" The Yamanka asked the other clan experts in the clinic.

"I want to know everything I can about the jutsu that hit him," the Hyuuga began. "Including how it was performed and all the effects and symptoms to follow."

"And while we're at it, we also need to gather as much information as possible about Iruka's own jutsu," Kawa added, turning to Kakashi, "Didn't you say he was using a variation of the henge jutsu at the time?"

"He was," the Copy Ninja confirmed, "And Ibiki believes that the two techniques combined ultimately created this problem."

"Well, this shouldn't be too difficult," Inoichi considered. He crouched to get closer to feline's eye level. "If you're willing to cooperate with me, Iruka, I'd prefer to enter your mind and let _you_ give me the information of your own accord. That would be safer than simply taking it myself."

Iruka nodded. Kakashi, however, frowned and grasped the Yamanaka's shoulder. "If you do it that way, Inoichi, it leaves _you_ vulnerable to Iruka's mind defenses."

The blond avoided his gaze as he chuckled. "Eh, that's all right… I'm sure he wouldn't attack me."

"Perhaps not willingly," Kakashi conceded, "But we both know that the mind doesn't take kindly to intruders. You could be subconsciously attacked."

Naoto Hyuuga nodded. "Don't forget, Yamanaka, that in his current state Iruka is not entirely in command of his mental faculties."

Inoichi shrugged. It was not a cocky gesture, merely a resigned one. "I know how to defend myself. It's really the only choice I've got. With Iruka's mind already burdened with foreign chakra, any of my other jutsu could put him in unnecessary risk. Surely you wouldn't suggest _that_."

"No, but…" Kakashi trailed off, unhappy with any of the options but unable to offer an alternative.

Inoichi raised an eyebrow. "If you're so worried about me, Kakashi, why don't you just come along? You could watch my back while we're in there."

The Copy Ninja nodded quickly. "Sounds good to me."

"Would that be okay with you, Iruka-sensei?" the blond inquired.

The chunin hesitated. He wasn't too keen on having Kakashi in his head. They had enough spats, just sharing an _apartment. _Then again, he didn't want to endanger Inoichi either. Iruka thought he had excellent control of his mental shields, and wouldn't hurt the man, even subconsciously. But in this form, who knew how much control he really had?

"Don't worry, I won't play _too_ many mind games," the masked jounin added with a wink when Iruka continued to hesitate.

The feline glared in response, and the blond shinobi chuckled. "Really, Kakashi, try not to antagonize him, or else _I _won't be the one who has to worry about subconscious attacks."

Once Iruka grudgingly agreed to cooperate with both shinobi entering his mind, the Yamanaka proceeded with the preparations. Kawa, Hana, and Naoto would watch over the bodies while they went into the trance-like state this technique produced.

"You ready?" Inoichi asked each in turn before he performed a series of handsigns.

Kakashi had joined the Yamanka in mind probes before, but it had been several years since his last trip into someone else's mind. He'd almost forgotten how disorienting it felt. The moment the last sign was formed, thick darkness enveloped his vision and he sensed his consciousness get sucked from his body. Immediately after, he experienced a sensation of rapid falling while spinning uncontrollably. He had no command over his motion, speed, or direction, but he trusted Inoichi enough not to worry about it.

The trip ended abruptly when he slammed into something solid. Though he knew he wasn't really in his body, it still _felt_ like a bone-jarring impact. Kakashi slowly pushed himself up into a crouch, registering the feel of springy grass under his palms even as he tried to catch his breath and let the sensation of dizziness pass.

A hand patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Been a while since your last trip, huh?"

Kakashi glanced up in irritation at Inoichi, who appeared completely unruffled by the experience.

Sometimes, the Copy Nin really needed to quell his protective instincts and let his comrades take care of themselves. But since he had come along to protect the older man, he may as well do the job right. He forced himself to stand up and survey Iruka's mindscape.

Beneath their feet lay a thick carpet of vibrant green grass. Surrounding them stood lofty, solid trees- many thick enough that it would take several men to encircle one entirely. The foliage was green and dense like the grass, though an occasional beam of…sunlight?...filtered its way through the leaves. By far the single most unusual feature was the shelves carved into the trunk of every tree, crammed with an array of books and scrolls.

Iruka's mindscape was a forest library.

"Rather appropriate," Inoichi murmured beside him.

Kakashi approached one of the solid, book laden trees. The carved shelves wrapped around the entire trunk, and the jounin circled it curiously. Large leather-bound volumes, colorful hardback books, small paperbacks and pamphlets, and scrolls of every size and ornamentation adorned the shelves. Some documents appeared aged and worn, others new and glossy. None had any kind of visible title that might identify what was contained within.

"No attacks yet," Inoichi noted. "It would seem Iruka's received us with an open mind. He always did strike me as a rather tolerant fellow."

"Yeah…tolerant…" Kakashi retorted skeptically, having a flashback of the day Iruka flew into a fit of rage, simply because the jounin declined to put away his Icha Icha while on school grounds.

A book suddenly zoomed off the shelf and smacked the back of Kakashi's head. Inoichi howled with laughter. "I _told _you not to antagonize him."

"How much you want to bet that _wasn't_ a subconscious attack?" The masked jounin tucked the offending projectile under his arm. "Where is Iruka, anyway?"

The blond shinobi restrained his laughter and surveyed the mindscape before him. There was no sign of their host. "I don't know. It seems we'll have to go look for him."

They walked deeper into the forest of Iruka's mind. Unlike a natural forest, there was no sound of birds chirping, creatures scampering, or insects humming. Iruka was, of course, alone in his mind. Quiet thickly settled over them, broken only by the soft sound of their footsteps as they wandered among the tall trees.

"So…why all the books?" Kakashi asked Inoichi offhandedly, if only to break the somewhat eerie silence.

The Yamanaka shrugged. "It could be any number of things. Perhaps it's a collection of his memories, his knowledge, opinions, feelings…things of that nature."

"Hm," Kakashi raised an eyebrow and glanced at the volumes with renewed interest. He then began to study the book that had recently been employed as a projectile. The burgundy leather binding was sewn on the edges with gold thread and imprinted with silver accents. After a brief examination, his other hand came up slowly, ready to ease open the cover.

"What are you _doing?_" Inoichi hissed. "Don't open that."

"If Iruka doesn't want me to read it, he'll show up to stop me," the Copy Ninja pointed out. "Maybe he pulled out this book for a reason."

Since there was no protest from their host, Kakashi carefully flipped the volume open. His eye narrowed, and he exposed his sharingan before flipping through more pages.

"Well? What's in it?" Inoichi pressed.

The younger shinobi held it out and flipped through the pages for his companion to see. "It's completely blank."

"_Did you really think it'd be so easy to read my mind?"_ A disembodied, albeit familiar, voice asked.

"It's about time you showed up, Iruka." Kakashi snapped the book closed.

"_Of all people, you have the _least_ right to complain about being kept waiting." _

Inoichi cleared his throat, interrupting lest they resort to bickering. "Aren't you going to show yourself, Iruka?"

For a long moment, there was no answer and they thought perhaps he'd withdrawn again.

"_Do I have to?"_ the chunin asked finally.

"What do you think?" The blonde replied, crossing his arms in much the same manner as he did when Ino asked him such a question.

A sigh could be heard. Finally, a figure dropped down from the branches of a tree to their right.

Iruka was blushing profusely, causing the scar on his face to stand out even more. His eyes were cast downward, refusing to meet their gaze. Clearly he wasn't thrilled about them witnessing his current state.

The sensei looked like a man… if you ignored the cat ears set prominently on his head, the tail twitching in agitation behind him, or the fact that his limbs ended with paws rather than the usual hand or foot.

"It looks bad, doesn't it?" the chunin mumbled.

Inoichi, having a daughter who constantly fussed over her looks, was quick to reply, "Come now, sensei, it's not what's on the _outside _but what's _inside_ that…eh…wait, this _is_ inside…"

"Smooth, Inoichi," Kakashi noted wryly.

Iruka's ears flattened in misery.

"Don't worry about it." Inoichi clapped him on the back. "Once we get the information Hyuuga and Inuzuka requested, they can work on finding a way to reverse this."

Iruka smiled halfheartedly at the encouragement, exposing a set a sharp pointed teeth. "They want to know about the jutsu that hit me, right? Follow me."

The chunin dropped to all fours and ran on ahead with a distinctly feline grace.

Kakashi and Inoichi exchanged troubled glances before following.

The group finally came upon another tree. A shelf in this one had collapsed, causing the books to fall to the ground in a messy heap. Inoichi looked to Iruka for explanation.

"They're memories from my escape," the chunin elaborated. "My thoughts on it are a little jumbled, unfortunately. Perhaps you could help me straighten them out?"

The Yamanaka agreed and promptly got to work repairing the broken shelf. When Kakashi asked if he should help, the blond shook his head. "Leave this to us. If you're not used to this sort of work, it can do more harm than help."

The Copy Ninja shrugged and stepped back. Iruka was trying to sort out the mess on the floor, flipping through each book and arranging them in some kind of order. To Kakashi, these volumes also looked blank, but it was probable that Iruka had a different way of reading them.

It was taking Inoichi some time to repair the shelf (he was muttering something about having to soothe the emotional trauma) and the silver haired jounin's attention began to wander.

A weeping willow tree caught his eye. Its draping leaves created a curtain around its immediate area. Slender and bent, it looked entirely out of place among the lofty, rigid trees around it.

Kakashi glanced back at Iruka and Inoichi, who were still absorbed in their work. Finally, he wandered over to willow. Its slouching trunk contained bookshelves, like all the other trees. But this one had barbed wire and wooden planks preventing him from being able to reach the contents of said shelves. He circled the trunk, and finally found an opening in the wood and wire. Slowly, he reached for a scroll on the shelf.

A large paw slapped his arm away and Kakashi blinked up at a flushed Iruka.

"Do you _mind?_" the sensei scowled. "Those memories are repressed."

"Ah, my apologies," the Copy Ninja smiled innocently, his eye curving into a crescent. "I was just checking to see if you left your sense of humor in there too."

"No," Iruka replied curtly, "I must have forgotten that wherever _you _left your sense of privacy."

"All right, boys, that's enough squabbling," Inoichi interrupted. "We have a task to attend to, remember?"

Iruka nodded and returned to the jumbled memories. With the shelf repaired he was able to replace the books in their proper order. A slim blue paperback was pulled out. "Everything they asked for about the enemy jutsu and its aftereffects can be found here," he announced. "Do you want to go through this now?"

Inoichi shook his head. "In order to get the most accurate version possible to the medics, why don't you let me borrow that memory? I'll return it when we're done."

"Well then, let me unlock it for you." Iruka channeled his chakra into the document, and script surfaced on its pages like a dolphin emerging from the sea. The characters swirled until they found their resting place and the document was finally legible.

Inoichi thanked him and tucked the small booklet under his arm. Iruka quickly produced a scroll and thrust that into the blond's arm as well.

"What's this?"

"My mission report," Iruka replied. "I've been mentally preparing it ever since I returned to the village. Please transcribe it and deliver it to the Hokage. It includes all the intelligence I uncovered while on reconnaissance. This is what the enemy was trying to keep secret by committing suicide while in Ibiki's custody."

Inoichi accepted the scroll and promised to deliver it to the Sandaime. "And now…what about this special henge technique of yours? I need all your knowledge on it."

"The Master Henge?" Iruka looked away. "I…ah…I'd rather not share that."

Inoichi stared, incredulous. "You can't be serious."

"I am. The Master Henge is a technique passed down by my clan. I can't compromise a family secret."

"Don't be absurd." The blond furrowed his brow. "You're the last Umino. You need a _family_ to have a family secret, Iruka."

The sensei stepped back as though he'd been struck. His ears flattened and eyes narrowed. "Get out," he hissed.

The temperature in the forest dropped dramatically, and Iruka disappeared into the branches overhead.

"And people call _me_ insensitive," Kakashi commented, watching his breath condense into dancing wisps of water vapor in the frigid air.

Inoichi shivered. "Perhaps I could have been more tactful."

"You _think_?"

"Well, in any case, we're clearly no longer welcome. We should go."

Kakashi placed a hand over Inoichi's wrist, stopping him from performing hand signs. "Wait. Let me try and talk to him first."

The Yamanaka sighed. "I doubt it'll do any good. His mind is made up on the issue. And you don't exactly seem to be on the best terms with him, either."

"...I don't?" Kakashi blinked disbelievingly. "What makes you say that?"

* * * * *

When the temperature continued to drop, the Copy Ninja guessed that he was getting closer. That, and the increasing number of branches that kept snapping the moment he stepped on them.

Initially, Kakashi had been concerned that the falling branches would damage the books and shelves below. However, when a particularly large tree limb repelled harmlessly off the surface of the trunk he realized they were not as vulnerable as they seemed. Thus, he was free to keep his focus on not falling himself.

Finally he spotted his target. The chunin was seated on a broad branch, his knees pulled up to his chest. His chin rested on one of his knees, and his eyes were fixed on an open book in his hand.

"Hey, Iruka…" Kakashi stepped onto the branch, facing the sensei. The temperature dropped another ten degrees, but besides that he did nothing to acknowledge the Copy Ninja's presence.

The brunet's eyes were reading over pages that looked blank. The volume in his hand looked particularly old, its leaves already yellowing. The leather binding was creased and cracked, as though this book was handled often. In some places, that binding was even beginning to come undone, the pages threatening to fall out and presumabley fade from his mind.

"Family memories?" Kakashi ventured a guess.

"I told you to get out."

"Actually, you told Inoichi to get out," the jounin pointed out, ignoring Iruka's icy tone. "You should know… he didn't mean that the way it came across. He was only trying to point out that, if we can't reverse what's happened to you, there won't _be_ an Umino clan for whom to keep secrets."

"It makes no difference, whatever Inoichi meant to say," Iruka stated firmly, his eyes still on the book in front of him. "The Master Henge was passed down to me by my father with the understanding that it would remain a clan secret. Whether or not I have a clan to pass it on to doesn't change that fact. This is about honoring my father, Kakashi. It's the _principle_ of the thing. I won't fail him. Certainly not just because he's dead."

Kakashi sat down cross-legged in front of the chunin. "Believe me, Iruka, I have nothing against honoring the dead. To do otherwise would be reprehensible," the jounin assured solemnly. "And if you feel you'll dishonor your father by revealing that jutsu, then it's your right to keep it secret."

Iruka blinked and looked up at his companion, at a loss for words. Silence stretched out awkwardly between them.

The chill in the air noticeably lessened, and Kakashi clenched his jaw tightly, debating on whether he could force his next words out. "Iruka…do you know what happened to my father?"

The chunin's eyes widened marginally in surprise. Why would Kakashi suddenly bring that up? He nodded once and quietly added, "Hatake Sakumo put the lives of his comrades before the success of his mission and was viciously maligned for it."

It was the jounin who averted his gaze this time, his fingers peeling off a curling strip of bark from the branches. "The Hatake clan lost its honor because of his actions, and…my father took measures to restore it the only way he could." The strip of bark separated and Kakashi rolled it thoughtfully in his fingers. "So now, due to his decision, I guess I have my honor. But, if I were honest with myself… I think I would have rather had my father."

A drop of water landed on the back of Kakashi's fingerless glove. Another drop soaked into his sleeve. The jounin looked up toward the sky, surprised to find it raining lightly. Iruka hadn't moved, his knees still pressed up toward his chest, but by now restrained tears shimmered in his eyes. Kakashi marveled that he could be so moved by someone else's grief.

Maybe that's what kept the grass in his mindscape so green.

The jounin smiled at the thought and continued. "We're going to try our best to get you back in your true form, and your secret jutsu might be the key to that. Granted, it just might be dishonorable for you to reveal it. But I wonder if your father wouldn't rather have a dishonored son, alive and whole, than an honorable cat." Kakashi tilted his head, his eye crinkling slightly. "And, I really don't have to wonder which one _Naruto_ would prefer."

A crash of thunder accompanied this remark and a heavy downpour cascaded around them. Iruka wiped the tears that had finally trailed down his face. "You bastard…you just _had_ to bring Naruto into this, didn't you?"

Kakashi grinned roguishly, the effect multiplied by the drenched hair flopping forward into his face.

Iruka sat silently in the rain, debating in himself and staring at his old book. Finally he stood, his steps sure despite the slippery terrain. Dropping down to the base of the tree, Iruka replaced the worn volume he'd been reading on the shelf. All around, the heavy rain repelled harmlessly off the trunks, never dampening any of the books. The chunin pawed a scroll off the carved shelf, making sure it was readily legible before turning to Kakashi who had dropped down beside him. "Here's another jutsu for your mental library, then."

"I won't be careless with it."

"I know you won't," Iruka sighed. "You've been nothing but diligent in this whole matter. I'm sorry that I've been difficult to deal with at times."

Kakashi figuratively waved the apology away, "I can't let you accept all the blame for that. I can be just as difficult." He glanced up toward the sky. It was still raining, but not as heavily as before. "I'd better go catch up with Inoichi before he decides he's too cold and wet to wait for me any longer."

The jounin began to walk away, but his ankles were suddenly tangled in thin tree roots.

"Kakashi! Wait."

He turned his head to face Iruka who, if the restraints were any indication, had something important he wanted to say.

Thunder rumbled overhead as the sensei sought for words. "Listen…if I…" He swallowed and tried again. "If I end up losing myself…you'll watch over Naruto for me, won't you?"

Kakashi stared gravely at the younger shinobi. He knew the incredible weight that plea had carried, and the jounin feared he wouldn't be able to bear it. Obito had asked him to watch over Rin. Look where that ended.

Still, wide brown eyes were watching him expectantly, waiting for his answer.

"I _will_ watch over Naruto. He is my student, as he was once yours," Kakashi stated finally, knowing that was the truth. Regardless of Iruka's request, he would always bear a responsibility to the boy. "But I'll also tell you this: that knucklehead can use all the guidance he can get. I'll do everything in my power, Umino Iruka, to make sure _you'll_ be watching over him for a long time to time."

Iruka's expression broke into a feline-fanged smile, a bright contrast to the rain still falling around them. He pulled the jounin into a hug, whispered a choked "Thank you," and promptly disappeared.

When Kakashi finally caught up with Inoichi, the rain had ended and warm sunlight filtered through the dense foliage once again. The drenched, shivering Yamanaka nodded approvingly at the jutsu scroll Kakashi now carried. "Good, now let's leave before the weather turns again... I swear the sensei must be bipolar."

* * *

"Hey, Iruka-sensei! Message from the Hokage!" Naruto exclaimed as the hawk on his windowsill dropped a scroll into the boy's outstretched hand. The fowl, finished with his task, promptly took his leave through the open window.

The striped tabby padded into the kitchen. Ever since the mind probe, Iruka had taken up temporary residence in Naruto's home. The Inuzuka had graciously offered him a place to stay, but the chunin ultimately decided to spend the time with his favorite ex-student.

His decision had _not_ been motivated by a desire to stay away from the Inuzuka dogs. Not at all. Besides, even _if_ he was afraid of dogs- hypothetically speaking of course- he wouldn't have let that stop him from residing with the Inuzuka had he been so inclined. But to Iruka, Naruto was truly that important.

As for the Copy Ninja, Iruka had not seen him at all in the last few days. Kakashi was currently engrossed in the concerted effort to find a suitable treatment, bringing to bear his vast experience with ninjutsu. Also involved in the process were Yamanaka Inoichi, using Iruka's memories to fill in the gaps in their information, Hyuuga Naoto, with his superior ability to work directly on the chakra system, and Inuzuka Kawa, whose medical knowledge and familiarity with animal transformations made him invaluable to the effort.

Iruka was anxious to see if this message meant a decision had been made. Naruto was as well, if the eager manner in which he tore open the scroll was any indication. The boy plopped down on the floor beside his four-footed sensei and read the scroll aloud.

"Dear Naruto, Please inform Iruka-sensei that his presence is required at the Konoha Hospital at seven o'clock tonight. He is to undergo a…" Naruto paused and squinted at the text, "Uh...yeah, I'm sure I've never seen _that_ word before."

Iruka futilely scrutinized the parchment, before shaking his head and attempting to shrug.

"Oh well, let's see if we can get it from the context," Naruto suggested, shocking Iruka in the process. Bright blue eyes returned to the message as he resumed his reading. "…He is to undergo a blah-blah-blah. We're hopeful that it will at least begin the process of restoration. Keep your spirits up! Sarutobi Hiruzen."

The genin rolled the scroll up, flopping onto his back with a grin. "Well, I still don't know what they're going to _do_ to you…but at least they're finally ready to get you back to normal. That's good news."

Iruka purred in agreement as he nudged the boy's shoulder affectionately. It was still early in the afternoon, and the few hours until seven o'clock suddenly seemed an eternity long. He knew he'd be thinking of nothing but this mystery procedure the whole ti…

_Mouse!_ The tabby tore across the kitchen floor, mystery procedure momentarily forgotten.

* * *

When Iruka and Naruto arrived at the hospital, a harassed-looking receptionist directed them to the east wing. Upon passing through the white double doors to the appropriate area, the feline's eyes widened. Whatever he'd been expecting, it certainly wasn't _this._

Dozens of shinobi were waiting for him. Not just the Inuzuka, Hyuuga, and Yamananka, but Aburame, Nara, and several more. Iruka knew most of them at least by reputation. Most were experts in their chosen fields. Had Kakashi collected _all_ of these people?

"Welcome, Iruka-sensei," the Sandaime smiled. "They'll get started as soon as the surgery room is prepped. I'm sure you must be anxious to be human again."

Kawa greeted the sensei genially, his assistant Kinmaru standing faithfully beside him. "You can see that our team of consultants has grown, but don't let that make you nervous. The combined efforts of these fine shinobi will be the _cat_alyst of your successful restoration!"

A collective groan could be heard from the group. Clearly they'd been subjected to the elder Inuzuka's humor for far too long.

A bespectacled shinobi stepped forward who Iruka instantly recognized as Enjin, Konoha's best neurosurgeon. "I will be in charge of the upcoming neurochakralectomy. Hyuuga and Inuzuka will, of course, be supervising closely."

Aburame Shibi inclined his head. "My insects will also be of assistance. They can travel through your chakra paths and make certain repairs and corrections without surgery."

"I'm your best friend in this whole thing," Genma spoke up next, his senbon clicking lightly against his teeth. "Chakra reconstruction hurts like hell, and I'm in charge of sedatives and painkillers." He clapped the shoulder of the bored-looking nin beside him. "Of course, it was Shikaku here who gave me insight on useful substances to maximize effectiveness and minimize risks."

As the gathered ninja shared some insight on their contributions, Iruka could't help but feel both pleased and panicky. This was turning out to be a very serious undertaking.

Iruka's eyes settled on his coworkers from the Mission Department. Why would Izumo and Kotetsu here?

"Moral support," Izumo supplied, sensing his question. "Right, Anko?"

"_Moral support?"_ the kunoichi repeated, scrunching her nose. "I just came to say my last goodbye. He's only got a twenty percent chance of living through this, you know."

Kotetsu viciously stomped on her foot. "You're not supposed to say that in front of _him!_" he hissed.

Naruto, meanwhile, had dissolved into a fit and needed to be removed from the area by Kakashi, who had the best chance of calming the boy down.

Enjin, the neurosurgeon, simply shook his head and sighed. "Come, Iruka-sensei. It's time to get started."

Genma lifted up the feline and gently pinched a fold of skin on his neck, inserting a sedative-laced senbon in the area. Iruka's head drooped of its own accord as the drug took effect.

Just before blacking out, he saw the elder Inuzuka's warm brown eyes.

"Don't be worried, Iruka," Kawa smiled at him reassuringly. "Sure, it's dangerous- but even if we mess up, you've still got 8 more lives to go."

The last thing Iruka heard was Hana shrilly exclaiming, "Uncle! _That's not funny_!"

* * *

And finally, finally, I'm ready for the last chapter! ^^;

Many thanks to the reviewers**: lost highway, Slinkymilinky, umino-gaara, Petague Killaboo, chibi heishi, Auphora66, Ryu Earth, Reidluver, cowhand Steve, Dobby123, Rangerfan58, Snowblooms, Pheonix Eternia, KakashiKrazed, Balance-The-Moon-And-Stars, TheWatcherandReader, deviltiger, Inny-hakky, DarkAuroran, PaperBagGhost, Wordsplat, jazzy2may, chessvain, XCagedHopeX **and** firedraygon**.


	8. Chapter 8

This chapter begins with a significant time jump.  
You'll see the end result first, and then be taken to the past via flashbacks to fill you in on the details. Enjoy!

* * *

Anko confidently strode toward the Mission Room just after dawn. It was rather early to be picking up a mission, but she had her reasons.

The kunoichi stepped into the room and her confident smirk quickly faded._ '_No! Not_ him…_'Anko thought, heart sinking. _He _was never here this early!

Was there a way out of this? The kunoichi nervously eyed the door behind her. _He_ hadn't seen her yet. She could still escape…

Just then, _he _looked up from the files on his desk, his brown eyes meeting hers with that deceptive kindness. Retreat was no longer an option. Evil incarnate though he may be, Anko had no intention of letting Iruka know that she was purposely avoiding him. Thus she put on a brilliant smile and ambled to the distribution desk.

"Morning, Iruka!" she beamed. "Fancy seeing you here this early."

"Good morning," the chunin greeted in return. He was surprised to actually see Anko in the mission room. He knew that she went out of her way to come _only_ when he was off-duty and, really, he couldn't blame her.

For weeks after that Monsoon Mission Iruka had assigned her for revenge, just the sound of a dripping faucet had the kunoichi curling up in a corner, rocking back and forth, and murmuring "Rain, rain, go away…" in a singsong voice.

Iruka had felt dreadfully guilty about that, but thankfully Anko made a full recovery after several sessions of therapy. He had apologized and even occasionally took her out for dango when he was off-duty and thus, in her mind, not as dangerous.

Nevertheless to this day, years later, she was _still_ cautious about raising the chunin's ire.

Anko approached, smiling a little too brightly. "Hey, you're looking good. Have you been working out lately?" She further emphasized her admiration by lightly skimming her fingers over his pecs.

"Anko!" Iruka pushed her hand away, scandalized. "You can lay off the flattery- I'm in such a good mood, you couldn't anger me if you tried." He slid a scroll toward her. "By the way here's your mission."

Sighing in relief, the young woman opened the document and quickly scanned it through.

Her eyes ran over the words a second time, hoping against hope that it didn't say what she _thought_ it said. "No…" she whispered in a horror laced tone. "_No_…what did I do to deserve _this?!" _

"What the matter?" Iruka blinked, genuinely confused by her distress. "You won't even need to leave the village for this one. I'm only asking you to substitute my class for the day. Naruto is officially advancing to chunin rank, and I don't want to miss the promotion ceremony."

"You're so _evil_!" the kunoichi wailed mournfully.

Iruka was patted her hand comfortingly, still trying to comprehend what had upset her so badly when Iwashi finally entered the Mission Room to relieve him from his shift.

Eager to be on his way, the sensei didn't even bother to gather his papers or tidy up his desk. "Thanks, Iwashi," he called as he sped out of the room.

* * * * *

Iruka observed the simple ceremony with pride. By defeating Pain, Naruto had clearly demonstrated he was worthy of more than just his current genin status. Undoubtedly he could have skipped straight to jounin level, but Danzo had decided against that. His reasons were unclear, but Iruka was willing to give their Hokage the benefit of the doubt. He must think it best to move Naruto along a little step at a time to ease the transition.

Though Danzo may have been strangely dismissive of the boy's achievement, the other villagers quietly celebrated their hero in a way that warmed Iruka's heart. Once the official ceremony was over, the sensei wound through the crowd, seeking out the boy amidst the informal party that followed.

"Naruto! Congratulations on your promotion to chunin," Iruka beamed proudly when he finally caught up to the teen by the snack table. "You deserve it. And you're that much closer to fulfilling your dream, ne?"

The new chunin flushed with pleasure at Iruka's praise. It made him even happier to know that the sensei arranged to be absent from classes, just to see Naruto's promotion. "Thanks, Iruka-sensei! I'm glad you came."

"Of _course_ I came!" the older chunin exclaimed. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Come on now, I even have a gift for you. Follow me."

Naruto followed his former sensei to the hall and then into a side room, away from the milling crowd that had gathered to eat, drink, and be merry. The gift was lying on a table. "Is that…?" The blond approached and ran his fingers over the strong, green material.

"I gave you my own hitai-ate for your graduation," Iruka reminisced. "Today, I'd like to give you my flak jacket. I know you already have your own from the ceremony, but you can never really have too many. A ninja will easily go through dozens over the years. Your shinobi vest shields you from light attacks and is incredibly useful for holding equipment. I used to wear _this_ one for teaching, but it's still in very good condi…Naruto?...What's the matter?"

The youth had an odd expression on his face, as though he was struggling not to burst into tears- and Iruka hadn't even gotten to the sappy part of his monologue! A lecture on the usefulness of a flak jacket was nothing to cry over.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto scooped the feline body into a firm hug. "Thank you," he whispered.

Iruka shifted in his grip to a more comfortable position. He'd done something wrong, but he wasn't sure what. Ears lowered regretfully, he nudged the boy's chin with his forehead. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, you didn't upset me," Naruto assured squeezing marginally tighter. "I just…I just wish that…that _you_ could still wear your flak jackets too."

_Oh_… Iruka looked down at his paws and sighed. "Naruto, it's okay. It's been years now. I've moved on."

*** * * flashback* * ***

When Iruka pulled open his heavy eyelid, the first thing he did was look down at his body.

A lump formed in his throat. His form was still small, still furry…still feline. "No," the chunin snapped his eyes shut swallowing the disappointment. "_No_…"

He remained stock still for a moment before cautiously peeking one eye open. "No?..." The other eye opened. He licked his lips and tried again, tasting the word on his tongue. "No! Ha, ha! No-no-no-no-no." He laughed again, despite the skull crushing headache, delighted to just hear human sounds from his own mouth. "Yes! I can talk!"

"Cat's no longer got your tongue, I see," a male voice commented from beside him.

Iruka turned his head abruptly, regretting the motion as pain coursed through his neck and spinal chord. "Kakashi?"

The silver haired jounin chuckled sheepishly. "I think I've spent too much time around Kawa. His awful sense of humor has rubbed off on me."

Standing beside the silver haired jounin, Aburame Shibi nodded solemnly. "Yes, well…you _are _a copy-cat ninja."

The other two shinobi stared. Did…did _Shibi_ just make a cat joke?

Iruka waited for some of the pain to subside before asking, "Why am I still a cat?"

"Ah…" Kakashi stared down at his hands. "The foreign chakra has integrated itself more thoroughly than any of us anticipated. The good news is that we've re-establish the chemical balance in your brain. It will take further testing to be sure, but we hope that at least your mind has been fully restored."

"My insects are still integrated in your system, making sure that your chakra paths heal well from the surgery," Shibi added. "This way, whatever progress we were able to make won't get reversed."

"But what's going to happen now?" Iruka pressed.

"Now," Kakashi responded, "We'll just keep trying until we get it right."

"Or until we exhaust all our options," Shibi reasonably supplied.

*** * *present* * ***

Iruka well remembered how the months following that surgery they held onto hope that the transformation would be reversed. And yet, despite meticulous research and risky experimentation, no such solution ever turned up.

It had been difficult to accept that nothing could be done.

Iruka finally wriggled out of Naruto's too-tight grasp. "I know it's not the same, and it never will be…" the feline shinobi paused and pawed the hitai-ate tied conspicuously around his neck. "But I've adapted. I'm still a ninja. I can still teach, with an assistant to help with some of the more hands-on tasks. Why, I even still go on occasional missions."

*** * * flashback** ***

Sakibou the cat summoner placed her hands on her hips. The Sandaime had sent her to check up on the depressed feline. "Honestly, Iruka, you're being way too melodramatic."

The chunin glared at her irritably. "I'm sorry- but my career, my life, my _humanity_ is over. I think that's plenty dramatic."

The blonde glared right back at him, refusing to take pity. "No one said it has to be over! Whatever your form, you're still _you_. You're still alive. And there's no reason why you couldn't continue being a ninja. You'll just have to learn to fight like a cat."

Iruka's ears perked up and he stared up at her guardedly. Could he even dare to hope that was true? "Could…could you teach me to do that?" He asked finally.

A smile spread lazily across Sakibou's face. "I _can_ help a little," she withdrew a scroll from her vest and bit down on her thumb. "But _Miya_ would be the best candidate to train you in the ways of a feline shinobi."

A swipe of blood and a puff of chakra smoke later, and the white long-haired cat summon appeared. "Oh. It's _you_ again." She sniffed and regally turned her head away.

Miya, for all her aloofness, turned out to be a severe task master. She mercilessly drilled Iruka on proper form and technique. He took this in stride, determined to learn all he could from the fussy feline.

He was ecstatic to discover that cats had their own version of shinobi handsigns.

"Well, of course," Miya declared with a longsuffering sigh. "How _else_ could we perform jutsu? Let me show you." She swiveled her ears into complimentary angles and curled her tail to the left. "_This _is the sign of the monkey, for example."

Iruka mimicked her motion and, after some minor adjustments, Miya nodded. "Good. You'll find that some signs are quite simple. For instance, curl your tail to the right, and swivel your left ear another 23 degrees."

Iruka followed her directives.

"_That_ would be the sign of the rat," the cat summon nodded approvingly. "However, other signs are much more complex… Lift up your left forearm, stretch out your right hind leg, angle your head 37 degrees to the side…"

Iruka obeyed her instructions one by one, trying to memorize them as she went along.

"…cross your eyes, wrinkle your nose, and stick out your tongue."

Precariously balanced, he only barely managed to maintain the complex pose. How would he _ever_ get that one right on the battlefield? Iruka gazed expectantly at his instructor, vision doubled due to his crossed eyes. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Miya blinked.

"What sign is this?" Iruka prompted, struggling to maintain his position and speak with his tongue poking out.

The aristocratic feline giggled. "Oh, that's not a sign. I just wanted to see if you'd _actually_ do it. You look ridiculous."

"_What_!" Iruka dropped into a crouch and pounced, his infamous temper getting the best of him.

"Hey… stop! Brute!" Miya squeaked. "You're not pouncing properly!"

*** * *present* * ***

Naruto nodded at his former sensei's words. He knew better than most all the adjustments and painstaking labor Iruka had gone through to overcome the struggles his new body caused. He'd seen how the older ninja learned everything he could about being an effective feline shinobi, how he had even buckled down and mastered several feline languages in an attempt to seize every advantage possible, how he learned catsigns to perform a basic henge and temporarily take on human form when necessary. Yes, sensei had come so far.

Naruto tried on his new flak jacket. It fit perfectly. Though he meant to let the subject drop, the question was past his lips before he could restrain it. "Don't you miss your old body, Iruka-sensei?"

If the question upset him, Iruka didn't show it. "Hm," the feline cocked his head and pretended to think it over deeply. "No, I don't think I do."

"_Really_?" the teen blinked in shock.

"No," the elder responded flatly. "_Of course_ I miss my human form! It's perfectly normal to miss something you've lost. I still miss my parents, and the Sandaime, and many other things… But I can't let that stop me from enjoying what I still have." He rubbed his head against Naruto's open palm. "And I'm glad I don't have to miss your growing up and becoming a better shinobi."

A small figure appeared in the doorway, followed by other larger forms. "Found him," Pakkun announced. His canine packmates entered the room, pleased to have tracked down Naruto so quickly.

Kakashi stepped up to the door along with Sakura. "There you are, Naruto!," the girl exclaimed, "We were looking everywhere for… Oh, hello Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka nodded at each of them in turn, returning the greeting.

"Congratulations," The silver haired jounin loped into the room, smiling as he ruffled the boy's bright gold hair. "It's about time you made chunin, kid."

Naruto, who up until that comment had been grinning proudly, crossed his arms and frowned in mock-indignation.

The feline chuckled at their antics, knowing the deep affection that lay underneath. "Why don't we all go out to celebrate? Ichiraku's, my treat."

Naruto cheered and pumped his fist in the air, indignation forgotten at the proposal for ramen. Sakura agreed with a smile and Kakashi nodded. The four ninja began to leave with Naruto enthusiastically leading the way.

Iruka straggled behind. Just before exiting, motion in his peripheral vision caused him to turn his head sharply. "_Mouse,"_ he whispered to himself, eyes alight as he prepared to pounce.

A canine jaw snatched him up by the back of his hitai-ate. The tabby craned his neck to look behind him and met Bull's dark, affectionate eyes.

"_Ramen,"_ the beast reminded him gently.

"Right…ramen," Iruka acknowledged sheepishly. "Thanks, Bull."

* * *

A/N: *nervous chuckle*

…please don't kill me…

Look behind you! A mouse!

*flees*

Hope you guys enjoyed the ride! Thank you, **firedraygon, Wordsplat, chibi heishi, KC, Lady Geuna, Rangerfan58, lost highway, Inny-hakky, Auphora66, KakashiKrazed, Balance-The-Moon-And-Stars, umino-gaara, Reidluver, chessvain, Ryu Earth, jazzy2may, Ally Plz, Petague Killaboo, InARealPickle, beyondthecrystalsea, PaperBagGhost, Tara La'Quinn, Dobby123, Wing Moon, Snowblooms, deviltiger, vivi-vixen, Kick-Aft, Ayame Shikazuge, SlinkyMilinky, **and** selada **for the reviews, support, and encouragement.


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